


Born Too Late

by blaxkprism



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Because Dave Is Underage, Dave Lalonde - Freeform, Dave and Dirk Strider Are Not Related, Dave is a Lalonde, Heartache, Heartbreak, Infatuation, M/M, No Incest, Not a Fan of Age Gaps With Underage Characters, One-Sided Attraction, POV Dave Strider, Pining, Secret Crush, Sorry Not Sorry, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Crush, age gap, non-incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2020-03-29 19:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blaxkprism/pseuds/blaxkprism
Summary: “He thinks he’s too old for me," you huff. “He may be right, you know?” Rose responds.Dave has a crush on his eldest sister’s best friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Born Too Late - The Poni-Tails (1958)

You're 11 years old when you first meet Dirk Strider.

It’s a Saturday afternoon, and what’s the best thing to do on a Saturday afternoon? Play a few rounds of Super Mario World 3D on the family's Wii U in the living room. You’re slouching on the couch, munching on a couple of Doritos out of the bag next to you. It's a regular Saturday for you, and you expect it to stay that way. However, all that changes when you hear the front door open.

Disturbed by the noise, you pause the game and wait to see who enters the living room.

From around the corner, your eldest sister, Roxy walks in. She throws a big toothy grin at you when she spots you lying there on the couch. She nods her head quickly as a sign of greeting, to which you nod back. Content with your nonverbal response, she turns her head back as if she's waiting on someone to come in behind her.

This has you sitting right up as you try to see who is entering in behind her.

A tall blond man steps into the room, trailing behind your sister. He’s wearing ripped navy-blue jeans and a black tank top that reads “I flexed and the sleeves fell off” in bold print. He looks like he belongs on the cover of Runners World or some other sports magazine. He has a slightly tan complexion and looks like someone the lives near the water. His tan appears natural, so he’s not someone who goes to the tanning salon, you rule out. Furthermore, he’s muscular. Not in the, he looks beefy and has a large heavy body and strong muscles, type of way. But in the, he has a taut body that is firm with strong muscles with little fat, type of way.

He’s also wearing pointed anime cosplay shades.

Inside the house, you might add.

Never mind that you’re wearing shades inside too.

You can’t help but think that he looks like a fuckin’ tool.

“Dave. This is Dirk.” Roxy introduces.

_Who in the hell wears pointy shades?_

The expression on his face is blank as he nods his head towards you.

“Sup.”

_God, what a tool._

Not picking up on your signs of discomfort at being introduced to this unknown tool of a man, Roxy continues on in her introduction.

“We’re in the same college course, Anatomy & Physiology II," she states. "I’ve been having some trouble in the class recently, so I asked Dirk could he help me study for our next upcoming exam.”

As your sister’s talking, you can’t help but notice that her eyes are darting back and forth between you and this guy, never focusing.

_Dirk. His name is Dirk_.

She’s also slightly red in the face as she’s speaking. Her voice is a bit higher than usual, and you know your sister’s normal tone of voice. Roxy’s voice only gets that high when she’s very excited or extremely nervous.

You watch as Roxy unconsciously begins to lean towards him.

You’ve never seen you’re sister act like this before.

“Dirk. This is my little brother Dave. He’s 11.” Roxy states, snapping you from your thoughts.

“11? Then I’m guessing you’re in junior high?” Dirk asks.

You weren’t expecting a question from him to be directed at you.

“Well, duh. Of course, I am. Where else would I be?” You snap at him.

You don’t know this guy but something about him rubs you the wrong way.

Maybe it’s his douche shades, his spiked gelled hair, or his jeans that are hugging his waist a bit too low... Which you don't know why you're paying attention to for some strange reason.

Either way, being in his presence is making you uncomfortable.

The smile on Roxy’s face drops a bit, and she’s giving you a disappointed look.

You flinch at this reaction. You didn’t mean to hurt her feelings but this _Dirk-guy_ is rubbing you the wrong way with the little words he has spoken.

Dirk doesn’t seem to mind or ignores you snapping him. Instead, he lowly chuckles and says, “Yeah. You’re right. My bad.”

Welp. Now, don’t you feel shitty? You just snapped at one of your sister’s friends (?) for no reason, except for the fact his presence makes you feel weird.

"So how old are you?" You ask him, changing the subject.

"20," Dirk responds.

"Ah. You're the same age as my sister," You state. "Based on your appearance, I thought you were much older. Possibly 25."

Roxy glares at you for that.

Dirk laughs quietly at this. "Well, you're not the first person to say that. But hey. That's fine. All it means is I can possibly get away with getting a free drink from time to time."

You don't know how to respond to that, so you keep quiet.

Roxy then swoops in, in an attempt to save the awkward conversation. “Yeah, Dave is in junior high," she says, going back to the previous topic. "He’s in 6th grade in fact. He’s no longer baby-Davey, but preteen-Davey."

Roxy then gives you a look. That _look_ to be specific. The look only an older sibling can give. It means she's going to say something to embarrass you.

"Yes," she declares. "He’s at that awkward stage in life where he hates everyone and wants to watch the world burn. All he does is go to school, eat, and listen to music that he thinks is deep, yet he doesn't know the meaning of it. He thinks shows like _Family Guy_ is a top-tier comedy and calls everyone "dude" or "bro." Yep.  He's your run of the mill, “stereotypical teenager.”

Oh my god, Roxy. Why?!

“Roxy, go away.” You groan at her.

Roxy laughs at your mortification. Typical elder sister messing with their youngest sibling. Where is Rose when you need her? Oh wait, she’s hanging out at Jade’s house this afternoon. Great.

The sides of Dirk's mouth lift up a bit too at your discomfort.

_Dick._

Hehe. If you change one letter in Dirk’s name, his name is now Dick. How fitting.

You smile at this realization.

“Oh! And see? I wasn’t lying to you when I told you that my brother and you share the same condition. Dave is also highly intolerant to light. Doctors have concluded it’s because of his eye color. He’s supposed to wear his sunglasses when he’s outside only, but like you, he has a bad habit of leaving them on.”

That drops the smile off from your face to a neutral expression.

You don’t know how you feel being compared to your sister’s douchey looking friend.

Dirk nods his head. “Yep. You sure told me, Lalonde.”

You can’t help but stare at Dirk now, particularly his shades. Huh. So, he also suffers from photophobia too? You wonder if his eyes are an abnormal eye color as well. Still doesn’t change the fact he has shitty taste in shades. Like really dude? Pointy anime shades?

_Ridiculous._

“Well then,” Roxy begins. “I think it’s time for us to leave Dave alone.”

Roxy skips towards you. She then falls over the armrest of the couch and drapes herself over you.

You make a small noise under your breath. Then, you start to playfully wiggle and kick your legs out in an attempt to dislodge yourself from Roxy’s grip. It doesn't do much but make her latch on tighter.

You hear Dirk chuckle in the background at you two's antics.

After a few minutes, Roxy lets you go but not before whispering in your ear.

“Please be nice, Dave.”

You stare at her as she pushes herself up and fixes her clothes.

“C’ mon Dirk,” Roxy calls out to him. “My room is upstairs.”

Your sister then exits the room, leaving Dirk and you alone.

Dirk stands there awkwardly, shifting from left and right after your sister leaves. You both stare at each other for a bit, not knowing what to say to one another.

Luckily, Dirk finally decides to stop being a weirdo and breaks the silence.

“Nice to meet you,” he quickly states. He then trails after your sister like a lost puppy.

You stare at the entry-way you watched Dirk disappear through.

You can’t help but think that this was the most awkward introduction you’ve had with someone so far in your life. You hope to never experience it again.

After a minute, you decide to shrug the interaction off and go back to playing your video game.

You pray that you won’t have to talk with Dirk-guy ever again.

Dirk starts coming over more after that.

It seems that he and Roxy have grown closer as friends and are hanging out often.

Dirk also meets your sister, Rose. Rose is a year older than you. Rose tells you that she thinks Dirk is an “acceptable individual.” Furthermore, she states that she believes Dirk's a bit socially inept but that’s fine because everyone struggles socially sometimes. Also, it's not necessarily a negative trait but a slight flaw in personality, and not all flaws are particularly bad in a sense. If you're basing flaws on a moral or judgemental scale. However, flaws are what make people unique from each other and people can overcome their flaws if they so choose through motivation, determination, and effort.

All you do is nod and hum in response to her ramblings.

It's easier that way.

You still don’t know how to feel around Dirk.

You try to avoid him when he's over. Either you are hiding in your room, creating new mixes on your DJ-mixer board that you got for Christmas, or playing video games loudly in the living room. A sign that you’re really absorbed into your game and wish to not be disturbed unless it’s super serious.

However, one of these times, you are disturbed.

Dirk comes into the living room as you’re playing Mario Kart.

He walks in right as you’re being red-shelled by Donkey Kong right on the finishing line on the last lap, knocking you to second place.

You groan and resist the urge to throw your Wii controller.

God, you hate Donkey Kong. You hate him as much as you hate Toad, Wendy, and any of the baby characters. Those are the main characters that always destroy you when you play with comms.

Dirk hovers at the entrance into the living room for a bit, before speaking up.

“Playing Mario Kart?” He asks.

You didn’t notice he was there. You kind of wanna give him a snarky remark again but you remember the words Roxy whispered to you as clear as day. “Yeah, I am,” You respond.

“Cool, cool.” Dirk remarks. He shoves his hands inside his jean pockets. “Are you any good at it?”

Your nose twitches and you slightly frown at this question. Did he just ask are you any good at Mario Kart?

_Of course, you fucking are._

“Yes,” you reply humbly. Mario Kart is the only game your good at. Don’t tell anyone. That confession would destroy your reputation of being a gamer-god among your friends. Which is only claimed by you, of course. You’ve spent hours practicing and learning short cuts to become better than your friends.

“Do you have a second controller?” Dirk asks.

You nod your head slowly at this question, wondering why he’s asking.

“Wanna verse?”

You look at Dirk as if he just grew a second head on his shoulder.

Did he seriously just ask to verse his friend’s kid brother in a game?

What kind of adult wants to play games with friend sibling?

Aren’t elder siblings friend’s supposed to find the younger siblings annoying?

Instead of voicing this to Dirk, you ask him, “What about my sister? Aren’t you supposed to be hanging with her now?”

Dirk shrugs his shoulders at this interrogation.

“I’m waiting on Roxy to finish getting ready for tonight," he states. "We’re going to a party at a mutual friend’s apartment. I can play a couple of games with you before we head out.”

You don’t know what to say. You bite your bottom lip, contemplating Dirk’s request.

You don’t know how you feel about Dirk and this is the second conversation you’re having with the guy.

Dirk walks up to the tv cabinet and grabs the second Wii controller laying on top of a bunch of game cases.

“So, do you wanna play against each other? Or are you too scared to get creamed by someone that’s clearly more skilled than you?”

He’s waving the controller around in his left hand. One eyebrow raised, and an insufferable smirk on his face. As if he knows you can’t resist the challenge or back down from being called out.

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

_He is on._

Dirk and you play three rounds against each other. He totally wrecks your shit and wins every race. However, you do give him a run for his money, which he comments on every time you smoothly direct shoot him with a green shell or bump him off the track. You feel a bit flattered as he lavishes you with praises and compliments.

After the last game, Dirk asks you about your favorite Nintendo games and your favorite character in Mario Kart.

You tell him that your favorite game is Luigi’s Mansion, and your favorite character to play is Peach.

Dirk nods and commends your choices.

After, he tells you that his favorite game is Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and his favorite character to play is Yoshi.

At that moment, Roxy comes down from upstairs and enters the living room.

“Dirk!” Roxy calls out. She’s wearing a black halter top and a light pink skirt. Her lips are a shiny pink from the pink lip gloss she put on, and she has black eye shadow around her eyelids. Finally, she’s wearing black lace-up heel boots to compliment her outfit.

“I’m ready to go!” she cheerfully exclaims. She does a little twirl, her skirt fluttering in the air.

Dirk turns to you and places his hand on your shoulder. “Good game, kid. We should verse each other again, yeah?”

You nod your head at his question.

He then pats your shoulder a few times, before getting up and following Roxy out.

You hear your sister shout out “Goodbye,” and that she’ll be home late, as she heads out.

You contemplate what had recently occurred when you hear the door shut.

Before, you didn’t have much of an opinion on Dirk. You simply thought that he was your sister’s friend that looked kind of like a douche at first glance.

But now, after playing a few games of Mario Kart with him and talking about your favorite Nintendo games with each other, you can’t help but think Dirk is kind of alright.

You may even think that he’s kind of cool.

Finally, you decide that Dirk may not be all that bad of a guy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God. I can't believe I wrote this. For the longest time, I tried denying I lowkey shipped these two because of obvious reasons. After a while, I grew tired of being in denial and hating myself. Admitting I shipped it and discussing it with those closest to me made me realize something and I feel like a weight lift off me.  
> Anyways, this is my first writing a Homestuck fanfic and writing in second person. I apologize if there are any grammatical and punctuation errors. I tried to fix the mistakes I made, but I'm not the best editor. This work will be 8 chapters long and I have some of the later chapters drafted. Updates should be frequent unless stated otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

Dirk is 21, and you're 12 when you find out that Dirk likes men.

It's the middle of March when the weather is weird because spring is fast approaching. One week it's bright and sunny outside, the next it's grey and gloomy. Today, it's the latter, and Rose and your friends decided to cancel plans for this weekend. All of you decide it's too wet and windy outside to go out to the local town shopping center.

You're both currently sitting at the family dining table in the kitchen waiting for Roxy to fix up some sweet chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Every Saturday, Roxy will fix you two breakfast in the morning. At first, Roxy would do it because your mother would work long and odd hours at her research lab when you all were growing up. There were days where she would get called in early because of an accident or mistake that happened at work. Now, Roxy does it out of habit.

You're not bitter at your mother because she's gone all the time due to her work. She is the head data scientist and astronomer at her job. She does fantastic work and is so stellar at her career that you can see why everyone is so impressed with her findings all the time. She also makes up for the time lost when she is home. However, you can't help but wish she was home more often.

You haven't spent more than 5 hours with her this week.

Which is more than usual when she's working on a massive project but still.

You know you're not the only one bothered by this arrangement sometimes. You can faintly remember as a toddler, Roxy yelling at your mom how she didn't care for them and only cared about her work. You remember Rose squeezing your hand, tears running down both your faces as your mom and Roxy argued back and forth. You remember there were a lot of tears shed, hugging, and a promise to spend more time at home.  Which you guess was kept because your mom does come home more now than before. You're basing this off the fact that Roxy and your mom haven't gotten into another argument since then. Well, you haven't seen them get into one since then.

However, you can still feel the disappointment roll off you and see Rose purse her lips her whenever Roxy tell you both that your mother had to leave early or she won't be able to make it to dinner on time.

Speaking of someone you haven't seen in a while.

It's been nearly a month since the last time you saw Dirk.

Typically, Dirk would come over to the Lalonde residence once or twice a week since his and Roxy's budding friendship. However, you haven't seen him of late, and your elder sister rarely mentions him these days, which is strange. Before, Roxy couldn't stop talking about Dirk. She would ramble on and on about Dirk, and would talk about him more than her other friends - Jake, Jane, and Cantaloupe? - If you can recall correctly.

You can't help but wonder if something happened.

You miss the guy.

While you love and cherish both your sisters to death, Dirk seems to get you compared to them. He understands your wry sense of humor and your love for swords. Dirk also shares the same passion for rap and writing lyrical poetry as you. You found this out one day when he had heard you rapping from the closed-door of your bedroom as he was walking to the bedroom. You were rapping a happy birthday song for your dear good friend John.

John is awesome.

He's like the best bro a bro can ask for. He only deserves the best for his birthday, so you decided to come up with some sweet lyrics and sweet beats to rap for his birthday. Also, you bought him that Con Air Bunny from one of his horrible movies collection. That goddamn bunny was so hard to find online because it was a limited edition item. The dude you bought it off from on eBay was charging a reasonable sum for it. But, it was a heavy price to pay. The bunny was worth all of your allowance money you saved up for the last 8 months.  Your buddy John only deserves the best gift.  This is taking into consideration that John's previous birthday present to you was the killer Ben Stiller's sunglasses that you're currently wearing. Yeah, John is cool.

_Really Cool._

You can't help but like John a lot.

Anyways, what were you saying before?

Oh, right, Dirk!

Yeah, Dirk is pretty cool himself. He was passing by your bedroom door, on the way to the bathroom when he heard your sweet rapping skills.

He had stopped in his mission and had politely knocked on your door. When you shouted that whoever was at the door could come in, you turned around to see Dirk standing there, leaning on the door frame.

You asked him did he need anything.

Dirk smirked at you before asking, "So you rap?"

"Yeah, I like to rap," you tell him. "It's the most influential genre of music of our generation and rappers are the badass poets of the 21st century. It's sick beats that involve intense permutation, and combination of rhyming phrases is genius! How can a person not love rap?"

Dirk hums at your long-winded answer.

"Is that so?" He asks. "Who's your favorite rappers then?"

In a heartbeat, you list off your top 5 favorite rappers to him.

"Kid Cudi, J Cole, Schoolboy Q, Kendrick Lamar, and Mac Miller."

"Ahhh. You're a man of exquisite taste then," Dirk states.

"Of course I am," you reply. "My taste is top-notch. Nothing can compete against it. I have more taste than a suburban mom redecorating their home when guests are supposed to be coming over. I have more taste than goddamn Gordon Ramsey, himself. I don't care for or tolerate that water downed, mainstream rap that some are calling "real rap." Screw all that noise."

Dirk laughs at your comment.

"I feel you," He says, wiping a tear from his eye. "I feel you on that note."

Dirk then shared with you that he was a big fan of rap himself and would write his own rap lyrics when he was younger.

You're shocked by his confession. Next, you ask him could he rap for you.

Dirk flushes when you ask him this. He stammers that it's been a while since he last rapped. He claims he probably isn't as skilled as he once was.

However, this doesn't deter you from your new mission. You plead to Dirk to rap for you at least one, practically almost begging.

Okay, you did beg him.

After listening to you beg for a few minutes, Dirk caves into your request. He asks could you put on a rap instrumental for him so he can freestyle it.

You quickly try to find your phone.

When you find your favorite content creator for freestyle rap beats, you click on the first link you see — not even looking at the title.

It takes a second for Dirk start rapping, but when he does you're blown away.

You were not expecting this.

Dirk is a literal fucking _God_. His flow is as smooth as water flowing smoothly down a hill. His flow doesn't interfere with the instrumental, gently gliding over every rap beat. His voice and rhymes hit every musical note, and his bars are consistent. The flow stays the same the entire way through.

You're awestruck.

Dirk's rap skills are groundbreaking as it is intimidating.

You want to achieve to be at his level someday.

When Dirk is finished, you're pretty sure your mouth is open from amazement and astonishment.

To distract the attention away from him, Dirk immediately asks you could he listen to the rap you were singing before he came in and interrupted.

You flush at this request and stammer that you were rapping a happy birthday song as a present for your best friend, John.

Dirk tells you that it sounds like a pretty sweet present for your friend, and how he would gladly listen to it.

You feel a bead of sweat roll down your neck.

You don't rap in front of people much, so you feel the pressure to perform well overtake you, especially in front of the man who just took your breath away with his smooth lyrical skills.

You are pretty sure you stammer a bit in the beginning and scratch the mix table the wrong way was your putting on the performance.

However, Dirk doesn't comment on it.

After listening to your rapping skills, Dirk compliments you on your musical talents. He ignores your earlier mistakes and tells you that you have a gift for it. He states that many people wish they had the artistic talent you possessed and how he got chills from listening to you.

"You have a lot of potential kid. You can go somewhere with your skills if you put a little more effort into it."

You're heart swells at this. 

You and Dirk continue to discuss rap. Heck, you even show off your mixer too him.

While you are showing it to him, Dirk stands behind you. His body is leaning over the back of your chair and his right hand situated on the top of your head.

This is how Roxy finds the two of you when she walks in later. She was wondering what was taking Dirk so long in the bathroom, believing he may have been having bowel problems.

You died of laughter at this.

The memory brings forth a deep ache in your chest.

Your heart missing the presence that Dirk left behind.

God, you miss him.

Sometimes, you feel inclined to ask Roxy about him, but Roxy's been very emotional lately. There are moments where it seems that she's putting on façade of happiness in front of you and Rose. Recently, dark circles are forming beneath her eyes. Thus, hinting that she hasn't been getting much sleep lately. You suspect it's because she stays up half the night crying. There are times where you're walking down the hallway to go downstairs, and you hear muffled sniffles coming from the direction of her bedroom.

The other night, Rose had come into your room and told you that there appears to be less alcohol in your mother's liquor cabinet.

Why Rose knows that and why she felt that she had to look in there to find answers is beyond you. You wanted to ask her that last night but were too chicken-shit to say anything.

The only time the cabinet is open is when there is a big party or when your mom wants wine with her dinner.

So yeah, your elder sister may be resorting to alcohol to deal with her problems, and that issue may be related to why Dirk is not around as often.

Randomly, you wonder if Dirk may have hurt Roxy.

God, you hope not.

Your sister Roxy is the most pleasant and likable gal known to walk the face of the Earth.

Anyone that hurts her is trash in your eyes.

It doesn't seem like you're the only one that has noticed Dirk's absence of late. Halfway through breakfast, Rose decides to ask the question you've been resisting to ask.

"Roxy," Rose calls out.

"Hmmm?" Roxy purrs as she's preparing her own set of pancakes.

"May I inquire as to why Dirk hasn't been around here as of late?" Rose asks.

You see Roxy flinch at the mere mention of Dirk's name.

Rose appears to have noticed the flinch as well, based on the slight lift of her left eyebrow. However, Rose decides to press on in her questioning.

_How typical_.

"In most cases" Rose begins. "Dirk would be spending time at our residence once or twice a week. However, I have noticed that as of late, his presence in our home has been absent, and our weekly conversations of obscure interests have been nonexistent."

Rose pauses mid-conversation. Despite the fact you're wearing shades, you can see your younger sister take a quick sweeping glance at Roxy. You know she's paying close attention to Roxy's body language, trying to gauge what's wrong with her and if her current emotional state has anything to do with Dirk's absence.

You can't deny that you're doing the same thing as well.

Roxy has stopped in her pancake preparations.

You notice her swallow out of reflex.

"Does he have any prior obligations that he's committed to that is keeping him away?" Rose interrogates. "I do understand if he's busy with prior obligations if that's the reason which is preventing him from visiting us lately."

You see Rose's eyes harden as she makes the decision push farther in her questioning. "Unless… There is another reason that Dirk's keeping his distance as of late. A more serious reason, perhaps? That makes being in this household unpleasant for him or any other party involved?"

You can see Roxy's hand tremble, and her breathing becomes labored. Her breathing loud and heavy in the silence.

"Y-yes Rose," Roxy stammers.

"Yes?" Rose questions.

Roxy then turns around to both of you, a big grin across her face as she attempts to save face.

"Yes, Rose. You are correct in your former inquiry. Dirk hasn't been around as of late because he's busy with stuff."

Roxy then chuckles.

You note that the laughter doesn't reach her eyes.

"Oh?" Rose says, "If it's not too much to ask, may I inquire what he is preoccupied with?"

God damn. You wish Rose would learn to let some things go and learn to know when to stop pushing.

"Class work," Roxy is quick to answer.

Based off Roxy's response and the slight tremble in her voice, you know that she's about to bolt out of the room.

Your hunch is confirmed true when Roxy decided moments later that she's not really hungry at the moment and will eat later. She then pushes the mixing bowl to the side before quickly walking past the both of you to escape to her room.

You glare at Rose.

"Was that necessary Rose?" You ask her.

Rose becomes defensive at your tone of voice. "Don't act as if you're not curious nor concerned about our sister's well-being too, Dave. I was only asking Roxy a set of questions to persuade her to be honest with us. Her opening up to us would be in her best interest because she's no longer holding back her emotions that's somehow tied to Dirk."

"Yeah, I am concerned about Roxy, Rose." You confirm. "I'm also curious about the situation regarding Dirk. But you need to stop being so goddamn forceful all the time. Shit, Rose. You just made Roxy run out of here as if she's a chicken with her head cut off. Does that reaction seem like it was in her best interest? Huh?"

Rose doesn't respond to your comment. Instead, her face becomes closed-off. She chooses to continue to eat her freshly made pancakes. Occasionally, stabbing into it forcefully a few times.

You decide to do the same instead of arguing.

What a shitty way to start a Saturday morning.

It is three days later when you hear a word from Dirk.

The house phone is ringing off the hook. It's the third time it has rung in a row. You're assuming it's not one of your mother's business calls or the school. They usually leave a voicemail on the answering machine.

You trudge along the carpeted floor in the hallway as you decide to pick up the phone.

"Y'ello?"

"Dave?"

You almost drop the phone in shock at the voice on the other end.

"D… Dirk?"

"Yeah, it's me." He says.

_Holy Shit_.

You can't believe that you're talking to Dirk right now. It's been weeks since you've heard his voice. You've almost forgotten how deep, low, and smooth it is.

There's a moment of silence between the both of you, you out of shock and Dirk out of hesitance.

Eventually, Dirk speaks up again.

"How have you been?" He asks.

"Cool." You say once you're out of your stupor.

You're trying to play it cool and not bombard him with questions. You bite the inner part of your cheek as you hold back from asking questions such as where he's been, why is he calling the house phone, is there something going on between him and Roxy that he should know about, etc.

You're afraid if you do, he'll rush off the phone, and you won't hear again from him for another couple of weeks.

The fact of not hearing from him again scares you is strange to you.

You don't know why you're so scared.

Probably, you've grown an attachment to him within the few months of knowing him, and you're only realizing it now.

"How are you?" You ask him back.

Dirk pauses before answering.

"I'm doing… alright," he states.

Based on the tone of the voice, you believe that he's lying.

God, you wish you were better at talking with people.

You don't have much time to dwell on this because Dirk promptly asks you where your sister is.

"Hey Dave, is Roxy there?" His voice is breathless and tense when he inquires about her whereabouts.

"I've been trying to get in contact with her for quite some time now, but I've been having some trouble getting in touch with her. I decided calling the house phone would be my second best option of hearing from her."

At that moment, Roxy decides to come around the hallway corner and spots you with the house phone in your hand.

"Who is that Davey?" she asks.

You quickly put your hand over the mouth speaker, before telling her who it is.

"It's Dirk." Your voice is flat when you tell her.

You see Roxy tense up and that's she startled by the news.

She lifts her arms and waves her hands in front of her in a crossing motion.

"Tell him I'm not here," She whispers harshly.

You remove your hand from the mouthpiece.

"She not here." You tell him.

"She's not there?" Dirk repeats.

"Yeah." You reply. "She recently went out to grab a couple of groceries for the house. I don't know when she'll be back."

Dirk is silent on the other end awhile before you hear a quiet sigh.

"Could…. Could you tell her I care for her?" Dirk inquires. He sounds a bit desperate when he asks you this. "Tell her that I care for her and that she means a lot to me… I consider her my greatest and closest friend. I never wanted to hurt her. Also, I'm sorry that it had to be."

You're confused at Dirk's words. However, one thing is for sure; Dirk did emotionally hurt your sister.

"I will," you tell him.

Dirk thanks you before telling you goodbye on the phone. You mumble a soft bye under your breath before you hear the familiar click on the other line.

You put the phone back down on its receiver and stare at it for some time.

"What did he say?" Roxy demands immediately. She looks a fret, wringing her hands nervously.

You repeat back Dirk's words to Roxy.

After listening to you, Roxy appears to choke up at this news. You watch as her eyes start to water and her throat constricts. Her mouth becomes pinched, and her breathing labored.

She opens her mouth a few times as if she wants to say something desperately, but nothing comes out.

You watch as she turns her back to you and walks away to her room.

The next thing you hear is the sound of a door opening and closing.

Later that night, you hear quiet sobbing in the hall as your walking up to your bedroom.

You pause and take note that it's coming from the direction of Roxy's bedroom.

You stand and listen for a while. You can hear coughing and excessive crying.

It hurts to listen to her cry.

Finally, you decide enough is enough.

You make your way to Roxy's room.

Roxy is startled when you open her door without knocking.

"Dave!" She squeals. "What are you doing in my room?"

She is hunched over on her bed, her arms wrapped around her pillow. Her face is red, and tear tracks are running down her cheeks.

You decide to get straight to the point.

"I heard you crying from outside the door."

You watch as she tries to wipe away the snot and tears from her face with the back of her pajama sleeve.

"O-oh! Sorry Dave," Roxy replies. "I didn't know. I'll make sure to keep myself quieter from now on. Now, you can go back to your room. There's nothing to worry-"

"It's about Dirk, isn't it?" You interrupt. "The reason why you're crying."

Roxy doesn't speak up when you ask her this. She doesn't even make eye contact with you. Instead, she chooses to turn away from you and face the window.

Roxy's behavior doesn't deter you from continuing on in your interrogation.

"He hasn't been around in a while, and you've been acting strange as of late… stranger than usual. Also, that phone call from earlier was pretty damning to say the case."

Roxy remains silent.

You choose your next words carefully.

"Did he… try something funny to you or whatever?" You hesitantly ask. Afraid that your question would either enrage your sister or make her feel worse.

Alternatively, your sister responds with a dry chuckle.

"Oh, Dave," Roxy says. "It's not like what you're thinking." She shakes her head as if the possibility of your question is ridiculous.

"It isn't?" You reply.

She throws you a broken smile as a few tears fall.

"Yes." She mumbles.

You watch as Roxy begins to nervously wring her hands together and bite her bottom lip as she tries to think of her next choice of words.

"You see Dave," Roxy begins. "Dirk didn't hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway. He would never try to hurt me. He's too sweet to me for that to happen. He cares for me to the point that he would harm himself if he ever did wrong by me."

After saying this, Roxy sighs and wrings one of her hands through her short hair. She appears exhausted as she explains this to you. It's as if she's had this conversation with herself a million times in her head.

"It's simply I misunderstood Dirk and I's relationship," she states. "I thought that Dirk and I could potentially be something more, but Dirk he, he, he-"

Roxy chokes on her words at this point. You watch as a new stream of tears trails down her face. She looks completely shattered, and it hurts to see her like this.

You stand silently as she tries to gather herself together and finish her explanation. She gives you a broken smile, snot, and tears staining her face.

"All you need to know Dave," she tells you. "It's not Dirk's fault. Not intentionally, of course. This is simply something I have to work out myself and get past."

You don't know how to feel about her response. You feel like something is missing, something you're not getting. But you can recognize that Roxy is exhausted from having this conversation, and if she continues this conversation with you, she might break.

 You nod your head.

"Okay." You tell her.

You suppose she hears the uncertainty in your voice, so she attempts to reassure you.

"Don't stress about it, Dave." She affirms. "Honestly, it's not that bad. Eventually, Dirk and I will be fine but not right now. You should go back to sleep. I'm sorry that I kept you awake with my sniffling."

She lets go of her pillow and stretches her arms out to you.

You walk over to her and give her a tightly squeezed hug.

She squeezes you back.

That night, you go to bed still confused but with a lighter conscious than the last couple of nights.

It's the beginning of August when Dirk starts coming over again.

You're in your room with the door wide open working on a webcomic series you came up with called, "Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff."

For some strange reason you can't fathom, you feel like someone is standing behind you, watching your every move.

At first, you decide to shake off the feeling. However, when the feeling remains after several minutes pass, you decide to take a peek over your shoulder to see if someone is standing behind you or in your doorway.

When you turn around, you come face to face with Dirk slightly hovering over you staring at your work.

What the fuck?!?!?!

You almost jump out of your chair out of surprise. But you have too much dignity for that to happen.

Instead, you make an embarrassing squeak noise and flail your arms in the air like an idiot.

"Holy shit, dude!" You exclaim.

Dirk, realizing his mistake, decides to take a couple of steps back and holds his hands up in front of him in a placating manner.

"Whoa!" Dirk says. "Sorry there, bro. I didn't mean to scare the crap out of you. I guess I should have made my presence known to you instead of standing close to you like some kind of creep."

Do you think?!?!

Your heart is pounding inside of your chest at what feels like 500mph. You try to calm yourself down by placing your hand over it and taking deep breathes.

When you finally calmed down, you stare at Dirk. You haven't seen him in months, but he still looks the same as when you last saw him. He is still wearing his goofy ass looking anime shades and dressing as if he's apart of some dumbass jock fraternity.

Today, he's wearing black ripped denim shorts and a black tank top that says "my emotional support animal is decapitation." You know that Dirk has a strange sense of humor compared to most people, but even you are having trouble finding the irony and fun in the tank top he's sporting.

You wonder if his surprise appearance in your room means that he and Roxy are cool now.

Of course, it does.

Eventually, you decide to stop being an awkward shit and open your mouth instead of staring at him.

"Dirk?" You blurt out. "Is that you? I haven't seen you in ages, man."

Dirk rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment at your questioning.

"Yeah, I know kid," he states. "Some things popped up and kept me busy for a while."

Dirk's lying to you.

He's trying to make it seem like he was kept away because of school or whatever, instead of the unknown fracture in your sister and his relationship.

You don't press on.

"So, what are you doing here?" You ask him.

You're nervously playing with the loose thread at the end of your shirt.

God. This is so weird.

Dirk appears to be as nervous as you. He switches his hand from rubbing the back of his neck to his arm. "Oh, I came to pick up Roxy with a couple of our other friends. We're all going to out to play laser tag."

Laser tag? That sounds pretty cool.

It's bullshit you aren't able to tag along.

You bob your head up and down as a sign of understanding.

"Laser tag? That sounds lit dude."

The two of you look vacantly at one another, neither of you knowing what to say. It's been so long since the two of you last each other. It doesn't help either that there is an age gap between the two of you or Dirk is mainly your sister's friend. Before you didn't pay attention to the former and latter detail, but now you can't ignore it. You used to feel comfortable in Dirk presence, and chatting with him felt natural. Almost as natural as being with one of your friends from school. Nonetheless, a little distance between the two of you proved this to be misguided judgment.

You don't know why this detail saddens you.

"So what have you been up to little man?" Dirk eventually asks you.

It seems Dirk couldn't stand standing around and the lack of sound between the two of you any longer.

_Little man_.

You don't know why but him calling you 'little man' makes your stomach does somersaults.

You feel your face involuntarily flush at the name.

He's never referred to you by that name before.

You don't know why but you want him to call you it again.

"I'm doing okay," you reply.

He then points behind you at your drawing tablet and pen lying on your computer stand.

"I see you're making some sorta webcomics, I presume?"

You nod your head in confirmation.

"Yeah?" He says. "I'm a bit into drawing and digital art myself."

His statement draws your curiosity.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't want to toot my own horn, but my drawing skills are pretty exceptional that they have their own brand of flavor and juiciness. My skills are _top notch_. Those old dude Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, and Picasso would want to take lessons from me."

Gosh. Does this dude's ego have any limits? This guy's ego is bigger than your own.

And that's saying something.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

At that moment, Dirk turns his attention to the ground and kick his foot out.

"But yeah, man. It's always great to meet someone who has a passion for art and stuff. I make my own stuff too, and I don't know - If you ever want to trade artwork or do a collab together, I'm down. You have talent, kid. That webcomic you're working on looks pretty spectacular.

_Holy._

_Fucking._

_Shit._

Somebody pinch your ass, you must be dreaming.

Did Christmas come early this year?

"Fuck yeah!" You blurt out in excitement.

Dirk smirks at your enthusiasm.

You feel your face heat up at not only your embarrassing outburst but his conceited smug smile. Why does it look so good on him? It makes no sense. No person should be so irritatingly attractive.

_… Attractive?_

At that moment, Roxy comes into your room with two people that you recognize from when she Facetimes on her phone.

_Jane and… James???_

"There you are Dirk! We were wondering where you went off too!" Roxy exclaims. "I should have known you would have gone to say hi to Davey. It's been so long after all."

"Oh? This is Dave?" The dark-skinned chubby brunette asked your sister. She was tall and someone who had a vast healthy body. Her legs were long, and her body shape resembled that of a pear. She was wearing short blue overalls and a white sweatshirt underneath. On her feet, she was wearing a pair of white Adidas. She also appeared to be a glasses wearer, but her glasses were red framed, rounded, and not shades.

"Egad!" The light dark-skinned male declared when he saw you. "So this is young Dave!"

The other male looked like a character that came out of your sister's romance adventure novels. The best way to describe his body type was that he's built. He was brawny, big muscles and a barrel-chest that curved outwards. He was wearing light-colored cargo pants and a black V-neck shirt that hugged his well-developed muscles.

You don't know if you could take the guy seriously, especially his speech.

"I have heard much about you from the lovely, Roxy," He states. "She never goes a day without telling us about her cute and delightful younger siblings."

He then takes a step towards Dirk, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"By Jove! Even Dirk couldn't stop talking about you after getting to know you. He couldn't help but confirm that you and your younger sister were the "coolest kids" he ever met."

If your face was flushed before, you're positive right now it's crimson.

Your sister talks about you to her friends? Not only her but _Dirk_?

Dirk thinks you're the _coolest_ kid he's ever met?

Your hand lightly trembles, and your heart picks up speed in your chest at this knowledge.

"Yep. This is Dave!" You sister announces proudly. Her face is beaming. You haven't seen her face make that expression in months. It's nice to see her so happy again.

"Sup," you say to them.

Jane giggles at your simple greeting and Jake lets out a bellow.

"Hello, Dave," Jane greets.

"Yes! Hello good, sir! It's a pleasure to meet you!" Jake exclaims. His arm wrapped around Dirk, shaking in excitement.

You can't help but notice how quiet and stiff that Dirk has become.

Before Dirk was comfortable, but now he looks like he wants to flee your room as soon as possible. You watch as Jake's arm squeezes Dirk a bit more involuntarily and how Dirk's face becomes flushed and constipated. His left-hand does a slight twitch. You watch the movement of his chest as he sucks in a deep breath.

You've never seen Dirk like this before.

_Weird_.

"Alright, guys. We should probably leave Dave alone and start heading off," Roxy announces. "Calliope texted me and told me that they're on their way downtown right now."

"We must be heading off then," Jake confirms. He drops his arm from around Dirk, and you watch as Dirk physically relaxes.

You wonder if you're the only one noticing this reaction.

"I'll be back later tonight, Dave," Roxy tells you. "I won't be back too late though, okay?"

"Okay, I'll let Rose know." You say.

Roxy nods her head at you in appreciation.

"Alright."

Roxy then walks out of your room with Jane and Jake following right behind her.

"It was nice meeting you," Jane calls out as she walks out.

"Yes! Hope to see you again!" Jake shouts.

It is now you and Dirk left alone in your room.

You wait to see if Dirk has something to say to you but instead, he bobs his head before exiting.

You stare at your doorway for a bit before turning back to your desk to finish up your webcomic.

You wonder how many more of your elder sister's friends you're going to meet.

True to her word, Roxy doesn't come back home late.

She comes home at around 9 o'clock in the evening.

You and Rose are watching some niche sci-fi film on television when your sister bursts into the living room.

"Hi, guys!" Roxy shouts.

Roxy then falls and takes a seat between the two of you.

"Gah! Roxy!" You scream at her.

Roxy simply laughs at your reaction.

"Good evening to you too," Rose greets, still staring at the television screen. "How was Laser tag?"

"Laser tag was great!" Roxy cries out. She lifts her arm into the air for emphasis. "Dirk and I were totally in the lead before Calliope, and her brother sneaked up on us and got us from behind."

Rose makes a humming noise in the back of your throat.

"You and Dirk are friends again?" Rose inquires.

You watch as Roxy involuntarily flinches at Rose's questioning. "Dirk and I were always friends," Roxy says nonchalantly. "We were having… some friend problems."

"What kind of friend problems?"

Roxy shrugs. "Just your stereotypical friend problems. We are good now. You don't need to worry."

Roxy folds her arms as a way of telling Rose that she's finished with the conversation.

Rose raises an eyebrow at Roxy's defensiveness but doesn't say anything else. Instead, she turns her attention back to the film.

It is quiet amongst the three of you for a while before you break the silence with a question that has been bothering you ever since Roxy and her friends left.

"Hey, Roxy."

"What is it, Dave?" Roxy asks.

"Earlier, before you left with Dirk and the others to go hang out and all of you were in my room, I couldn't help but notice Dirk's weird behavior."

At the mention of Dirk's name, Rose immediately turns her attention away from the movie to you. Roxy looks at you with curiosity, trying to understand your statement.

"What strange behavior are you referring to Dave?" Roxy inquires.

"Well," you start. "I couldn't help but notice that when Jane and Jake walked in, Dirk became stiff and uncomfortable. He seemed to be having a silent panic attack with how deep his breathing got and how he kept fidgeting from time to time. Also, his eyes kept going back and forth from Jake and to the floor."

"Ah," Roxy responded. Her tone was flat with no inclination of emotion behind it. A small pout forms on her lips as she answers your question.

"The reason for Dirk's weird behavior is because he has a crush on Jake."

Wait.

_What?_

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Dirk likes Jake?!" You exclaim.

"Yes," Roxy says matter of factly. "Dirk likes men, and he has a huge mega gay crush on Jake. He's had a crush on him for a while now. Jake doesn't know, and Dirk hasn't confessed to him yet."

You watch as a fleet of emotions flash over Roxy's face for a second. Roxy then shakes her head and releases a deep sigh.

"I’m going to bed early guys," she states. "Don't stay up too late."

Roxy then leaves the room to head to her bedroom.

"Well, that makes sense now," Rose says, watching the entrance your sister exited out from.

"What are you talking about Rose?" You ask her.

Rose doesn't answer your question. Instead, she shakes her head and gets up from her spot on the couch and head out the way Roxy left.

You're left alone in the living room with the television blaring and your thoughts.

Dirk has a crush on Jake.

Dirk has a huge mega crush on Jake.

Dirk likes men.

Dirk is _gay._

You don't know why, but this revelation shakes you to your core.

Not in disgust, but something else. Something you are unable to decipher.

You're no longer interested in the film on television and decide to head upstairs to your room as well.

As you're going to bed for the night, you can't help but think about what Roxy told you about Dirk and why it has such a strong effect on you.

You think about it all night, the next morning, and the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer than expected to get out because I work 40 hours a week now. Anyways, hope you all enjoy. Again, I'm not the best editor and tried my best.


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk is 22, and you're 13 when Dirk builds a motorcycle.

Also, 13 is when you start to question your sexuality.

Rose and you are having a heated discussion in her bedroom about the importance of the classic cult film _, Napoleon Dynamite_. You try to explain to Rose that the film is an ironic critique of most teen movies by refusing to play by the stereotypical teen flick rules. However, Rose disagrees with you about the film's significance. She believes the film to be a commentary on the loneliness and misery of youth, and people's humanity.

You're sitting on Rose's bed, in the middle of your rant to prove her wrong when Roxy storms into the room excitedly.

She bounces into the room on her heels; her phone clutched in both hands.

"Do you guys want to go to the beach?" She cheerfully asks. Her noticeable happy and enthusiastic manner nearly blind you with how hard she's smiling – pearly white teeth and all.

_Beach?_

"The beach?" You wonder out loud.

It's that time of the year again, Spring break. While going to the beach does sound like a fun experience on a warm day such as this one, you know it's going to be overcrowded with families and college students. 

You would rather stay home than deal with crowds of people all in one area.

"What's at the beach that has you so excited?" You ask her.

Roxy giggles. "Dirk built his very own motorcycle!" She blurts out in high spirits. She's nearly shaking in excitement like a child on Christmas morning.

"He built a motorcycle?" Rose questions. "I didn't know Dirk was familiar in automotive engineering."

"Oh yeah," Roxy answers. "Dirk is majoring in mechanical engineering and minoring in both automotive engineering and computer science. He's a hands-on type of guy. He likes to build stuff in his spare time. The motorcycle is one of his latest projects. He wanted to know did we want to go a joy ride on it across the beach coast."

_A joy ride on a motorcycle?_

_Nevertheless, a motorcycle Dirk built with his bare two hands?_

_That sounds sweet as hell._

Sure as hell beats your plans of sitting around all day, eating your weight in junk food.

"That sounds Ace." You express eagerly. "I'm totally in."

Rose scrutinizes your eagerness. Her eyes examine you close that you feel like a cell observed under a microscope. A line of perspiration forms on your forehead from how hard she's staring because you know, she knows, the reason behind your eagerness to go to the beach.

For the last few days, Rose has been trying to corner you about John. You've been avoiding John as of late; avoiding friend meetups, not answering phone calls, and ignoring chat messages. The reason why you've been keeping away from John is that he recently announced he's dating Vriska Serket.

John announced to your whole friend group at lunch, hand-in-hand with her.

While everyone else congratulated the new couple or stared in bafflement, you remained quiet. Your facial expression closed off. A sharp pain blossomed in your chest at the news, and you felt your eyes tear up a little. You didn't know why, but you had a strong urge to yell at John. You and John tell each other everything. In all of the conversations exchanged between you two, he never once mentioned or told you anything about the youngest Serket sister. Nonetheless, a romantic interest in _her_! At that moment, you felt betrayal, turmoil, and heartache.

John was your best friend.

Not only was he was your best, but he was your _something more_.

Ever since you found out about Dirk's sexuality last year, you started examining the world in a different light. Before, you used to force yourself to only pay attention to girls. Afterward, you were paying attention to both girls and boys around you. You could no longer disregard that your heart skipped a beat when a pretty boy walked past you just as it did for girls. You could no longer shut an eye to how your knees felt weak when an attractive gal or handsome chap in your class gave you the slightest attention. Thank god you were already sitting or you would fall to your knees.

You could no longer avoid the romantic attraction you felt towards John.

You're a hundred percent sure that Rose knows how you feel about John. Faintly, you remember Rose glancing at you from the other end of the lunch table when John made the announcement. For a moment, a flash of concern overtook her face when she looked at you before she turned back to the happy new couple and congratulated them.

You know Rose wants to talk about it. She's been non-stop asking you questions about whether or not you've been keeping up with John lately. Also, she's been keeping track of the less time you spend with the group now.

While you appreciate Rose's concern, you wish she would give you a little time to yourself. You don't feel like talking about John nor your one-sided crush on him, right now. Your emotions are a mess, and you want to be left alone for a while. She needed to recognize it was going to take you some time to adjust to the fact the boy you loved didn't love you back. She of all people should understand.

"I would have to say, dear sister," Rose replies. "Spending time at the beach and getting the chance to ride a motor vehicle that Dirk constructed sounds exhilarating. However, I already made plans for my afternoon and evening," she emphasizes.

"You have?" Roxy inquires.

"Yes," Rose confirms. "John, Jade, Kanaya, Karkat, and I made plans to spend time at the local mall today. Afterward, we all agreed to catch a movie for the evening."

"Oh!" Roxy blurts out in surprise.

Roxy then throws a glance in your direction. "Why are you not tagging along with them, Dave? Did you not want to go out with your friends today?"

With both of their eyes watching you, you try not to give yourself away by panicking.

"Yeah," you say casually. You throw your arms behind your head and lean against Rose's wall, pretending you are unbothered at Roxy's question. "I didn't want to go to the mall or movies today, so I decided to opt-out of the hangout. However, going to the beach sounds fun. I prefer that more than going to the same local mall."

Rose lets out a small huff under her breathe at your blatant lie. She knows your lying your ass off right now. You would much rather prefer going to the local mall than the beach. At least there you might be able to find a new couple of outfits, but she's not going to call you out on it especially in front of your sister.

Roxy's forehead crinkles in confusion, her lips pursed. She only makes that face when she suspects something is going on that you two aren't telling her. However, she doesn't ask any further questions or demands you to tell her the truth.

Instead, she smiles again and tells you that she understands your decision.

"Okay then, Dave. We are going to be leaving real soon, so grab your things and head downstairs. I'll be waiting for you."

Roxy then exits your sister's room, and you hear the faint noise of her footsteps head downstairs.

Not wanting to be left alone with Rose, knowing she'll call you out on your bullshit and start to question you about John again, you quickly skedaddle out of her room.

You throw a quick, "See ya, Rose," over your shoulders as you close her bedroom door behind you.

Next, you rush off to your bedroom to change your clothes. You exchange the blue jeans you're wearing for a pair of red sweats shorts. You're going to the beach, and you would rather not deal with the issue of rolling up your pants to keep sand from clinging to your pants leg. However, the grey short-sleeved sweatshirt you're wearing remains on you. The wrong choice it may be, you know it'll be windy at the beach. You'd rather be warm and comfortable than freezing your ass off.

You then snag both your wallet and cellphone from your bedside table before making your way downstairs.

When you reach the bottom step, you see Roxy waiting for you by the front door entrance. In one hand she's holding her cell phone, the other her car keys.

When she spots you, she jiggles her keys at you as a sign of 'let's get going.'

You can barely contain your excitement.

It's not a long drive down to the beach. It takes your sister only 20 minutes to get there by the freeway. However, trying to find where Dirk parked with his new self-made motorcycle takes quite a bit of time. She asks you to take her phone and text Dirk about his whereabouts. In her phone, his contact name is 'Dirkle <3.' You have the fleeting thought the nickname is both funny and cute. He responds to the text quickly and replies that he parked near the lighthouse but near Sal's Gumbo Shack.

When you this information to Roxy she lets out a loud 'whoop' in relief. She continues driving down the coastal line until she spots Dirk's familiar stylized bird hair on the side of the road. He's leaning against the concrete brick wall; his motorbike parked right next to him. Then, your sister pulls her 2014 Silver Toyota Corolla onto the right side of the road beside Dirk's motorcycle.

The two of you swiftly exit her car and start walking towards Dirk.

"Dirk!" Your sister shouts with glee. She immediately wraps her arms when she's near him; squeezing him tightly. Dirk returns the hug with similar energy.

"Hello Rox," He chuckles. Dirk then looks up and spots you standing not far away from their friendly hug exchange. He lets go of Roxy and tips his head in acknowledgment.

"Yo! What's up, Dave?" He greets.

You give a swift nod back. "Sup Bro. Nothin' much." You put your hands in the pockets of your shorts and lean back slightly, trying to pull off the 'cool but laidback' persona. 

"I heard you built yourself a motorbike." You lean to the side, trying to get a look of the motorcycle behind them. "Sis told Rose and me about it. She told us how you're giving free rides. So I decided to come along."

Dirk laughs at your bluntness. He isn't put off that you mostly tagged along to get a chance to ride on the motorbike. It was the main reason you guys are at the beach, anyways.

"Yeah, I did." He states proudly.

Dirk steps to the side so you can get a better view of the bike.

The bike in which Dirk built resembles that of a Honda venerable Gold Wing. The colors painted on the bike are orange and black, giving the bike a type of wildness vibe to it. It's big and sleek, the bike glistening in the sunlight. The seat looks plush to the touch, perfect for ass to cushion seating. The wheels are stable and smooth; so smooth they look like they can run on water. It's top-notch. You almost can't believe Dirk built this whole bike from scratch by himself. It looks like a bike that came right of the assembly line.

Your mouth opens in astonishment and wonder.

"It took me three months to build it." He states proudly. "I had to take apart it and completely rebuild it because I didn't properly align the drivetrain nor the primary drive. Also, I had to hunt and haggle the correct spare parts from people. You won't believe the ridiculous prices people try to sell spare parts for on the net. After I finished, I gave it a new paint job and voilà! My latest auto project finished, shining and beaming with Strider perfection."

Dirk's face is gleaming in pride.

"I can't believe it took you only three months to build, and then rebuild it, Dirk," Roxy mutters. She reaches her hand out as if to touch the bike, but instead lets it hover above it. She looks as amazed and dazed as you feel.

"It took you only three months?" You blurt out in surprise. You don't know much about the mechanics of building a motorcycle, but you're pretty sure that's fast.

_So cool._

"Yeah. It's not too that hard to build a motorcycle if you know what you're doing and have some knowledge of engineering and automobiles," he replies calmly.

"Or if you're someone who's a crippling workaholic that gets so absorbed into their work they forget the world around them," Roxy interrupts. She turns to Dirk and smacks his arm lightly.

"Seriously Dirk, building a regular bike with no mistakes takes about three months," she vocalizes. "But deconstructing then rebuilding one takes forever! How many hours of sleep did you lose working on this?!"

Dirk rubs the arm your sister smacks and tries to laugh off Roxy's concern.

"It wasn't that bad, Rox. Honest. I made sure to take breaks, grab food, and nap."

Your sister looks at Dirk with disbelief and suspicion. You wonder how many times they've had this same conversation about Dirk not taking the time to properly care for himself. Based on Roxy's face, too many times.

Dirk attempts to shift the focus from himself back to his bike.

"Anyways, are we going to do this thing or what?" He asks.

 _Fuck_.

This is happening.

You're actually about to go on your first motorcycle ride.

You try hard not to piss your pants in excitement.

You're not going to jump up and down like a 5-year-old kid waving their arms wildly, repeatedly screaming 'me!' Doing something like that is totally uncool and would damage your image.

However, because you're too proud to do such a shameful act doesn't mean everyone else is.

Roxy immediately starts jumping on her tippy-toes and waving her left arm in the air, forgetting about her earlier irritation with Dirk for the moment.

"Oh, me!" She squeals. "Please, Dirk! Me! I want to go first!"

Dirk chuckles at your sister's enthusiasm and eagerness.

"Of course Rox, "Dirk states. "How could I say no to such an enthusiastic reply?"

Horse fuck nuggets.

Maybe you should have let go of your pride for a moment if you knew Dirk would automatically agree to the most childish and enthusiastic reply.

"But I need something cleared up before we start" Dirk adds. You feel his eyes shift to you for a second, but you can't tell because of his shades. "What about Dave?"

You and your sister stare at Dirk in puzzlement.

"He's going to be here all alone," he continues. "I thought Rose was tagging along to make sure that at least two people are waiting at all times. Dave's going to be here alone for a while if I give you a ride along the coast."

You watch as Roxy faces morphs to one of excitement to one of sudden realization.

"Oh. Right," Roxy mumbles.

She turns to you in confusion as she tries to figure out what's the best option and whether or not it's safe to leave you all alone waiting by yourself.

You become slightly irritated.

You're thirteen for _Pete-fucking sake_. You don't need a babysitter or someone with you at all times when you go out. You can handle chilling on the brick wall for a few minutes while Roxy and Dirk go up and down the beach coast. You have your phone on you for these specific situations. Further, you know all the rules now - don't talk to strangers, avoid scary situations, run or call for help when you feel unsafe, etc.

You suspect Dirk can tell you're annoyed because he directs his next words at you.

"Dave," he states. "I don't want you to think that I'm saying you're not mature enough or can't handle being left alone for a while because I'm positive you can. I'm simply asking because I want to make sure both your sister and you are comfortable with it and that you feel safe before Rox and I drive off. I don't want to leave you alone if you're uncomfortable and if you would prefer to wait in Roxy's car because you feel safer."

_Well, if you put it that way…_

You shake your head. "Don't sweat it, dude. I'm fine waiting here along the road. I know what to do if some random tries to come up and talk to me."

Roxy appears unsure at your answer. She places her hand on your shoulder as a sign of concern.

"Are you positive, Dave?" She questions. "If you would like to wait in the car, you can."

Wait inside that death heat-box? No, thanks. Rolling down the window wouldn't even keep you chill. Waiting outside where you can feel the ocean breeze is much preferable.

You wave off your sister's worry.

"Chill Rox. I've sat out alone before. I can take care of myself for a short time. Besides, the quicker you two take off, the quicker you'll be back and don't have to fret about me being alone."

Your sister stares at you troubled for a moment. You know she wants to demand you wait in the car, but she doesn't want to overstep her boundaries and come off as an overbearing sibling. You witness as her expression changes from troubled to unperturbed. She must have finally realized that you have been left alone for far much longer than what's most likely a 10-minute drive and can handle yourself. She bobs her head up and down, trusting your words. 

Next, Roxy turns her attention away from you to Dirk.

"Alright, Dirk," she announces. "Let's do this thing and hurry up!"

Dirk nods his head at your sister's words.

"Ay-ay madam," he mockingly salutes.

You climb up on top of the concrete brick wall as Dirk helps your sister get situated on the motorcycle. You watch as he hands her a plain black motorcycle helmet to wear and helps place it on her head. After making sure your sister's situated, Dirk hops in front of her and takes off his shades.

It's the first time you've seen Dirk's eyes. He stuffs them into his coat pocket to put on his helmet. Dirk's eyes almost appear orange under the sunlight. Not amber but bright orange. It's most likely a trick of the light, but it's so surreal to you that you hope it's not. You even think you see hints of a golden tint to them.

_God._

You thought your eye color was extreme, but Dirk's are _intense_.

You can't help but think they are breath-taking.

Also, Dirk's motorcycle helmet is fucking ridiculous. The color is white, and it has cat ears on top of it. Jesus Christ.  You want to laugh but you can't because you wish you had the confidence he had. It's so fucking rad to you how Dirk is comfortable with himself and un-ironically enjoys shit that is deemed "effeminate" by society. The last time you saw him, he was carrying on his back a Loungefly mini My Little Pony backpack in the shape of Rainbow Dash. He doesn't give a shit what people say about his interests and if they find it to be unmanly.

You still have trouble admitting to yourself that you might like wearing makeup after you let Kanaya have a go at her birthday party. You let her do it because she wouldn't stop commenting on your perfectly arched eyebrows. Also, you did it for shits and giggles. However, when you saw yourself in the mirror, you couldn't help but think how much it complimented your face. You believe that Kanaya should be a goddamn makeup artist when she gets older for how amazing her skills are.

Immediately, you snapped out of your thoughts by Dirk calling out your name.

The protector face visor of Dirk's helmet is up. He lifts his hand to his mouth to give more volume to his voice.

"We won't be long, Dave," he calls out.

"Yeah, Dave!" Roxy shouts. Her arms wrapped around Dirk's stomach region. Her voice muffled behind her mask. "We'll be back in no time! Stay safe until we get back, okay?"

You throw the both of them a thumbs up.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be waiting here."

Both Roxy and Dirk give you a thumbs up back. Dirk then flips down his helmet visor and switches on his motorcycle.

You watch the vehicle hum to life under Dirk's ministrations.

_God. That's honking cool._

Next thing you know you're watching as both your sister and Dirk zoom up the coast until you can no longer see them.

As soon as they are out of your line of vision, you reach into your shorts pockets to grab your phone. Immediately, you start playing angry birds. While you wait for your sister and Dirk to return, you play multiple rounds on your phone and watch as numerous people past by you.

There's a lot of people out at the beach today. Of course, this is no surprise to you. They walk past you - families, couples, joggers, groups of students, you name it — all of them out of the comforts of their homes to enjoy the warm sun and bright seaside. No one approaches you or bothers you while you sit there on the stone structure. Sure, some families pass by you and glance at you. You can read the expression, "what the hell is a kid doing sitting alone?" written on some of the adults faces. But, none of them ever approach you. You probably assume they are scared or don't want to be concerned about some lone kid on their joyous afternoon. Instead, they decide to continue walking past you; making their ways to the beach.

You're sitting there on the ledge for a good 15 minutes when you hear the familiar purr of a motorbike. You look up. In the distance, you spot your sister and Dirk whooshing down the other side of the road towards you.

Dirk comes to a smooth halt right in front of you and immediately turns off the engine and kicks down the side stand. He takes off his helmet to reveal a flushed and sweaty face. His perfectly gelled bird hair is in disarray. He appears as if he just rolled out of bed. There is a fiery look on his face and heat behind his eyes.

You feel a strange tug in your chest when you stare at him. Dirk is _wild_ , and the longer you stare at him, you find yourself drawn to the feverish look in his eyes.

Next, Roxy takes off her helmet. She looks a complete total fucking mess. Her hair is everywhere, and sweat droplets are trailing down her face. A few strands of her hair are clinging to her face and sticking up at weird angles. Her face is red, and she looks lost for a moment.

She's hysterically laughing as she holds Dirk's passenger helmet close to her chest.

She makes a quick attempt to get off the bike but almost falls face-first because of her uncoordinated movements. Luckily, Dirk catches her and tells her to slow down. He then hops off to help assist your sister.

You're sister staggers when her feet are back on leveled-ground.

When she spots you, her first steps are clumsy.

"Dave!" She screeches at you. "You've got to ride Dirk's bike! Like, holy magical tits! You won't believe it! I've never felt such a rush before! Dave, you may piss your pants!"

Your stomach clenches in excitement and fear at Roxy's words.

Dirk chuckles at your sister's enthusiasm.

"Now Roxy," Dirk coos. "I'm positive that Dave is too proud and chill to piss his pants. Mr. Born-To-Be-Cool can't have a wetting accident ruining his reputation. Instead, he'll lose consciousness and claim it's from the adrenaline rush."

He then throws you a smug grin that makes you slightly uncomfortable. It makes you feel as if you got to take a shit. You feel your insides squirm, twitch, and clench. His eyes are looking right at you. Before, Dirk's eyes stay hidden behind his shades. With them off, you feel as if he's reading you inside and out. You want to almost hide from his gaze. Not because you are uncomfortable.

_Heaven's no._

It's because they're making you fluster for some weird reason.

You're positive your remember Roxy mentioning that Dirk didn't take off his glasses often because he hates the stares and feels uncomfortable without them. Also, that he only took them off when he needs to or with those he feels safe around.

With this fleeting thought, you realize that Dirk is comfortable around you two to the point he can forget he's not wearing his shades for a moment and ignore the people around him. That realization does not help your already squirming insides much.

"Now Dave," Dirk calls. In the dark crevices of your mind, you can't help but think that the emotions arising inside of you when Dirk is staring at you are almost identical to the emotions you feel around dumb but loveable John.

_"You ready to for me to take you on the ride of your life, kid?"_

How can you say no when he looks at you like that?

"Hell yeah."

Jumping down from the ledge, you put your hand out towards Roxy. Waiting for her to place the helmet that she's still clutching onto in the palm of your hand.

When you feel the hard outer shell of the helmet on your fingertips, you grasp onto it tightly as if it's your lifeline.

"Now be safe and listen to Dirk," Roxy chides.

"Yes, _mom_ ," you tease.

You sister forms a fist. She attempts to punch you in your arm, but you flash-step away before she could make contact.

You head over to Dirk and stand in front of him. You have to lift your head way up to make eye contact with him.

_How come you never realized the big difference in height between you and Dirk before?_

You mean it's self-evident that Dirk is a lot taller than you because he's older. But right now, standing directly in front of him at this moment, his eyes feeling like they are piercing into your very soul, you notice how smaller you are.

It's alarming … And exhilarating.

"Ready?" Dirk asks.

All you can do is nod your head. You're awed to the point you're speechless.

You don't understand why you're acting this way.

It's just Dirk after all.

Dirk then helps assist you on to his bike like he did your sister. He tells you the correct way to climb onto the back of the seat and how to position yourself, so you don't go slipping off.

"Now, I want you to swing your right leg over the seat. I'll assist you lifting your leg up because you're smaller. Yes, you're doing fine- Wait. Make sure not to hit your foot on the tail of the bike. Hold on, hold on, hold on- Dave. Give me the helmet. Don't go too fast. Yes, that's it. Now, make sure you're comfortable in your seat. Good? Yes? Alright then. Now, let me put on your helmet for you."

After Dirk has helped you get situated, he grabs his helmet off the bike's handle and places it back on. Next, he swings his leg over the bike so smooth you would think he's been riding for years. Dirk makes sure he doesn't squish you when he does this — leaving a tiny bit of space in between the two of you.

"Dave," Dirk addresses. "Before I start the engine, I want you to wrap your arms around my waist and hold on as tight as you can. I want you to hold onto me to the point you're afraid that if you loosen one bit, you fall off. Don't worry about if you're hurting me. Your safety is my priority."

"Okay."

Your voice sounds muffled behind your helmet.

You follow Dirk's instructions and wrap your arms around his waist. You scoot your hips closer to gain a better grip around him. You're pressed up against him — chest to back, abdomen to backside. You're breathing becomes heavy. You don't know whether it's from the helmet or the proximity.

Once Dirk feels like you're holding onto him tight enough, he starts the motorcycle engine.

When Dirk turns the key in the ignition so that it's on, you feel the bike rev to life beneath you. The motorcycle jostles under you for a moment, and you're bouncing in your seat.

You squeeze your arm tighter around Dirk.

You hear your heartbeat in your ears.

Dirk shifts his bike into first gear and slowly starts moving it along the road.

Slowly, paranoia creeps up on you, and you want to get off.

However, you're unable to voice your worry because soon enough Dirk accelerates the bike and you're both speeding down the coastal line.

_Holy cheese crackers, Batman!_

You grip onto him for dear life.

As soon as Dirk rolled the throttle back, everything around you started happening quickly. Everything feels twice as intense, and you can feel the raw power of the bike humming in between your legs. You're practically crushing your legs against the sides of the bike.

You're crushing your body against Dirk. Despite having a helmet on, you can't help but close your eyes. Everything is going by so fast for you; you can't focus on anything. You don't know how Dirk can deal with this.

Your senses are at its max. Your nose is picking up on smells you never picked up on before. Because you are traveling faster on a bike, large amounts of wind and air are rushing by you. Your nose picks up many different smells - the ocean, food, sand, gas, pollution, everything.

You can't help but close your eyes.

Everything is too intense. You never thought riding a motorcycle would be like this.

You don't know whether to scream or cry.

You laugh.

At first, you let a soft, suppressed laughter slip past your lips. Next thing you know, a burst of loud, spirited laughter escapes from your chest.

The wind, the ocean breeze, the speed, it's exhilarating.

The sheer volume of stimuli that your brain is receiving right now is like a bath to your nervous system. The air comes over you in waves as if you are in wadding in water. The various smells from the hot dog stands, small restaurants, sea, evoke something in you. Memories that make you choke up and makes your heart with joy. The rumbling of the bike switches from being terrifying to like music to your ears.

Everything feels surreal.

Never before had you felt so alive.

Also, it's the first time in weeks; John doesn't preoccupy your mind.

Typically, when your mind wanders off, thoughts of John and Vriska being an item plague you. But right now, they couldn't be any farther.

You're focused only on the wind, the beach, the thrill of riding a motorcycle, and the feel of yourself pressed against Dirk's back.

A deep, hearty chuckle breaks you from your thoughts.

"Glad to know you're enjoying yourself, kid," Dirk yells over the bellowing of the wind.

Despite being so close to each other, you can barely make out his words.

"For a second there, I thought you might pass out on me from how hard you're gripping on to me."

"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you?" You tease. "Return me to my sister, passed out in your arms like some princess. Brag to her how I couldn't handle the extraordinary power of your bike and swooned out of sheer amazement. Of course, she'll know you're full of dog crap and fight you to save my honor."

"Dave, you are a princess," Dirk retorts, ignoring the rest of your rant.

"I'm not a princess!"

"Yeah, you're not. Too much of a pain in the ass. You're definitely a tsundere, with how cool and cold you come off at first before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time."

_How dare he?!_

"You wish, anime-trashbag!" You shout back at him.

"Hey!" Dirk exclaims."  That's Mr. Anime-Trashbag to you. You best watch yourself, young man."

You don't know why Dirk referring to himself as mister is hilarious to you, but it is.

Mister sounds old and stuffy, which is everything Dirk is not.

Dirk is sic and straight fire.

He is astounding as he is stunning.

_~~He is as beautiful as he is phenomenal.~~ _

One day, you hope to achieve Dirk's level of awesomeness and to stand side by side with him as an equal.

Dirk's voice soon cuts through your ramblings thoughts like a knife through a stick of butter.

"Dave," he calls out.

The call of your name from his lips give you the confidence to lift your head a little to look up at the back of his helmet.

"What's up, bro?"

"Do you want to see a trick?"

_A trick?_

Does Dirk know motorcycle tricks?

Your first thought is a giant big "fuck no." You've seen the types of accidents people can get into doing stupid stunts on their bikes from YouTube montages. You would prefer not to end up with a broken arm or leg from Dirk's constant need to impress folks.

But, you can't help but be curious about what kind of tricks Dirk can do on his bike with you riding along with him.

Also, it would be pretty sweet to brag to Rose and all your friends about your experience next time you see them.

Faintly, you recognize that Dirk would never do anything that would put you in harm's way. While Dirk does have an absorbed ego, his ego isn't that big where he would put you in danger. Most likely he's done the trick a thousand times beforehand and has performed enough to the point he's confident he can do it with you safely.

Dirk would never intentionally put you at risk.

Himself? Maybe.

You? Never.

Also, you're positive if something did happen, he would make some weird ass move that would result in only him harmed, while you come out of the incident unscathed.

Your curiosity is piqued.

"What kind of trick?" You ask him.

Dirk doesn't respond to your question. Instead, he tells you to hold on tight and not to move too much.

Then, Dirk shifts his foot as if he's ready to hit the rear brakes. Dirk then jumps on the foot pegs to rebound the suspension of the bike; his bike gives a throttle. He flexes his hands on the handlebars and pulls up a bit.

The bike lifts a few inches above the ground.

Dirk's popping a goddamn wheelie.

You let out a yelp.

 At this point, you're not squeezing Dirk. You're crushing him.

How he can remain unfazed the entire time is beyond you.

"Dirk!" You cry out.

His response is laughter.

God, you can't believe this man.

What kind of man think it's safe to pop a wheelie on his bike with a kid on board?

Although he doesn't do it for a long time, he does it for a good 10 seconds before lowering the front wheel back onto the road.

You're a bit shaken up after Dirk's stunt.

Nevertheless, you can't deny that's it exciting riding with Dirk.

Dirk is making sure to keep his promise that he'll take you on the ride of your life.

Being with Dirk is exciting. You never what's going to happen and when you think you've figured him out, he throws something else at you. Other people might find his personality erratic, but you welcome it with open arms. It's a nice change of pace when you grow up in a town where rarely anything happens.

Also, you like how comfortable you are with Dirk. It's moments like these you forget he is eight years your senior, and he's mainly your sister's friend. He feels like your very own because you never feel this comfortable with strangers. Not even with Jane and Jake, Roxy's other companions you've started seeing around the house often.

Dirk is different.

He isn't like your sisters.

He isn't like your friends.

He isn't like _John_.

You stare at the back of Dirk's helmet. You imagine his face right now beneath it.

Sweaty and Fierce.

A smirk on his lips as the both of you reach the end of the coastal beach line, and he leans the motorcycle to make a sharp turn, so the two of you are facing the opposite direction.

You release a jovial shrill.

_Why is Dirk like this???_

You hope he never changes.

Next, Dirk makes the bike come to a stop. He pauses to rev his engine, and then the two of you are shooting back down the way you both came.

You have a strong desire to press yourself harder against his back.

With anyone else, you sure you would be widely panicking with how fast they are going. But with Dirk, you find a sense of safety.  No harm can come to you when you're riding with him because from what you've learned after knowing Dirk for two years is that he's very protective of his friends and their safety.

You wonder if Roxy felt the same emotions your feeling at this moment when she was riding with him earlier.

The ride ends too soon for you.

The two of you return to where you left your sister standing on the side of the road. She comes racing towards your side when Dirk makes sure his bike has come to a full stop. Before you can get off the bike, she bombards you with multiple questions regarding your safety. It takes a minute for you to answer her because your ears are still ringing from the ride.

Luckily, Dirk comes to your rescue. He tells Roxy to give you a minute because you need to come down from a high adrenaline rush like that one. Then, he slowly helps assist you off his bike by lifting one of your legs. Your legs feel like Jell-O. You might actually end up swooning into Dirk arm's today out of sheer exhaustion.

After the ride and the time it takes you to pierce your mind back together, the three of you decide to spend your time hanging out on the beach.

It's a lot of fun, and you save a lot of photos on to your phone. 

During your time there, the three of you end up building sandcastles, playing volleyball, and putting your feet in the water.

At some point, you and Roxy decided to tag team against Dirk and shove sand down his pants. Of course, Dirk took it like a champ and decided that the two of you must face the consequences for your actions. As a result, he ends up chasing the two of you up and down the beach. You and your sister scream like a notorious serial-killer are chasing you both and run past families as Dirk hunts you down.

During, said chase you have the random thought to look behind you. You turn your head to the side to see he is hot on your heels. 

_Shit!_

He ends up catching you. He leaps forward to grab onto you, his arms wrapped around your small waist. Immediately, he starts to swing you around in his arms like you're a ragdoll.

You scream and holler for Roxy's help as Dirk lifts you onto his shoulder as if you're his war prize.

Hearing your cries, Roxy ends up chasing after Dirk trying to get you back. You remain over his shoulder's swinging left and right as he runs away from your sister.

You're sure the three of you are creating quite a ruckus and ruining some innocent family's evening.

Whatever.

It's the best beach day.

The three of you spend a significant bit of time there enjoying the sun.

It isn't until it's nearing sundown do the three of you decide to call it quits and go home.

However, before leaving, you announce Roxy and Dirk that you need to go to the restroom. The three of you head back up towards the road to find the nearest porta-potty. 

After taking a quiz whiz and washing your hands with portable soap dispenser, you walk back to the area you left Roxy and Dirk standing.

When you see the two, you notice that they are turned away from you and they are having a serious conversation. You almost make your presence known by shouting out their names but stop when you hear bits and pieces of their conversation. You stay 10 feet away from them.

"I don't know what to do Roxy. Every time the opportunity arises, my mind goes blank, and my words get stuck in my throat. At this point, I feel as if I should give u-"

"Now I know for a fact that the great Dirk Strider is not telling me that he's giving up," Roxy chides. "The Dirk Strider I know never backs down from a challenge!"

You watch your sister realize she's shouting their conversation for all to hear. She looks down embarrassed before her face changes into determination. She then continues where she left off.

 "How can you walk away when you haven't even tried yet?" She questions." You like Jake, right?"

"I don't just _like_ Jake Ro'" Dirk voices. He's looking her directly in the eye when he tells her his next words.

"I love him," he declares.

When Dirk says this, you feel as if the wind got knocked out your chest. Dirk's voice sounded raw when he confessed this to your sister. You could hear the power, passion, and pain. Never before have you heard him like this, not even when he asked about your sister whereabouts over the phone last year. 

"I love him more than I can comprehend. Never before did I think I could fall so hard for one person, but I did. There are over a million words I can use to describe how he makes me feel, but they all still fall short. He's my best friend, my inspiration, my solace, my rock. I love him."

It's the first time witnessing Dirk naked. He's laying his genuine emotions out in front for your sister, you, and all that past to see. It's astonishing.

You have the fleeting thought you wished that John cared for you the way Dirk cares for Jake.

You wish that _someone_ would love you the same way Dirk loves Jake.

Roxy doesn't say anything for a moment.

"If that's the case," she says slowly. "You should definitely. You'll regret having not told Jake the full extent of your feelings later down the road. I know this as the truth, Dirk. Tell him."

Dirk remains quiet.

At that moment, you decide to stop eavesdropping on their conversation and make your presence known.

"Yo, guys!" You shout, waving your arm in the air.

Roxy and Dirk turn around to face you. Their heavy-hearted facial expressions quickly change as they spot you walking towards them.

"You took your sweet time," Dirk comments when you reach them.

"The person before me was taking a massive dump," you shrug.

Roxy turns her nose up in disgust at your reply.

"Nasty," she says.

You nod your head in agreeance. "Honestly, it was. I had to hold my breath the entire time I was taking a leak."

"Horrific," Dirk expresses.

Dirk then turns his head away from you. He appears as if his mind is miles away. His thoughts more than likely stuck on Jake, right now.

After a minute, he turns his attention back to the two of you.

"Anyways, guys," he begins. He combs his hand through his arm in restlessness. "Thanks for coming out here. I hope the drive down wasn't too bad."

"Oh! It's no problem Dirk,' Roxy giggles. "We had a lot of fun today. Right, Dave?" She inquires.

You give her a simple response.

"Uh-huh."

Roxy's face is beaming when you confirm your enjoyment.

She looks from you back to Dirk.

"We should do this again, Dirk."

Dirk nods his head in accordance.

"Most definitely. Agreed."

Next, Dirk walks to your sister and gives her a goodbye hug to which she responds by wrapping her arms around him.

"Welp, I'll see you later, Roxy," he states when he dislodges from their embrace.

Roxy grins. "Okay. I'll text you later."

Dirk bobs his head as confirmation that he heard your sister. He then turns his attention to you and looks you square in the eye. Despite the fact he is wearing his shades again, you imagine you're staring back into fiery orange eyes.

"Bye little-man," Dirk tells you as he shuffles his hand through your head.

 _Ah_.

There's that weird feeling again.

That feeling where you want to squirm in place when Dirk calls you by that name he recently gave to you - _Little man._

You don't understand why it sends shivers down your spine every time he says it.

After the three of you say your farewells, the three of you depart to your separate vehicles.

On the drive home, you can't help but think today was a good day and relish in the warmth that has blossomed in your chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to come out last Saturday, but I was busy. Here is where things pick up and Dave's crush shifts. Again, I'm not the best editor. I tried my best, and I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I want to apologize for the late update. I wanted to release this chapter sooner, but life and work got in the way, and I needed a break from everything. I want to thank those that asked if I was doing well while waiting for the next chapter. I appreciate your comments, you guys. It's what keeps me going and what forced me to finish this chapter as quickly as possible.
> 
> As a heads up, school has started once again for me, so expect later updates. Also, this chapter took a lot out of me to write, and I hope it's not too bad. Again, I tried to fix as many mistakes as I could.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Dirk is 23, and you’re 14 when you realize you've developed a crush on him.

As of this moment, you’re holed up in your room, sitting at your computer desk with headphones on. You’re listening to songs saved to your playlist on repeat, attempting to block out the rest of the world. The music from your headphones is blasting, to the point your hearing may end up damaged from how loud it is.

However, you could care less.

You have made sure that your bedroom door was shut and locked. A sign to your sisters that you don’t wish to be disturbed.

You are not in a good mood.

You haven’t been in a good mood for weeks now.

For the past couple of weeks, you’ve isolated yourself – again - from not only your friends but your family.

As soon as you arrive home, you rush upstairs to your room and fasten your door shut. Then, you either start mindlessly playing videogames on your Nintendo 3DS or take a seat at your computer desk and reach for your headphones; immersing yourself in music, funny videos, and podcasts.

You ignore your sisters’ persistent knocks and inquiries about your state of health. Their voices of concern falling on deaf ears.

The only time you leave your room now is when you need to go to the restroom or grab a quick snack.

If you catch one of your sisters in your peripheral vision, you flash step out of the room to not be corned by them.

You avoid them like the plague.

Also, you refuse to respond to the flood of text messages you receive on your phone from your friends, as well as chat messages. Every time a pop-up message appears on the bottom of your computer screen to notify you someone wishes to talk with you, you press the small ‘x’ in the corner.

At school, you’ve stopped going to certain classes and going to the group's lunch table. Instead, you’ve been passing the time at lunch in random club rooms or the library.

With every new message or inquiry about your mental health, you get more and more upset.

You wished that everyone would get the memo and leave you alone.

The one person that seems to understand you wish to be in solitude for a while is John. Not once has he tried to contact you since news broke out all over the school.

Well.

Not _all_ over the school.

But the _entire_ fucking 9th-grade class sure knows.

What news?

Oh. The news that Dave Strider has an interest in the same gender and has a big dumbass crush on his best friend, John Egbert.

_God._

Of all people this could happen to, of course, it would be you.

You wish you never saved that shitty-ass love letter you wrote to John in your backpack over the summer; confessing the full extent of your feelings to him.

After discovering John and Vriska’s relationship in the middle of last school semester, you were an emotional wreck for a short while.

Scratch that.

That’s a lie.

You were a wreck for goddamn _months_.

For the longest time, you wanted to scream your little heart out and cry into your pillow. You had a strong desire to watch cheesy rom coms, the ones that Karkat always tries to force you to watch with him, and stuff your face with ice-cream. You wanted to yell at John about how goddamn stupid he was not to realize how much you cared for him, and choosing Vriska instead.

You _hated_ John for falling head over heels for her.

Every moment they spent together was a constant jab at your heart.

At the time, you blamed John for how you were feeling and that he should have realized that you didn't want to discuss Vriska because you had a crush on him too, especially when the two of you were having "bro-time" together.

Now, you recognize it’s wasn’t John’s fault and John doesn’t owe you anything.

Heck, their relationship didn’t even last that long for how bad your tantrum was. John and Vriska's relationship only lasted five months before calling it quits the right before summer break started.

Oh, the flood of messages that John sent you that day.

However, you rarely responded to him because you were wallowing in self-pity.

You were grasping with the fact the boy you liked would never like you back.

John was a “ _heterosexual_ ” as he firmly put it; yelling at Karkat one day in the halls because _apparently,_ Karkat had a crush on John as well.

At some point, after John and Vriska’s breakup, you concluded that confessing to John might help you move on from him and help you feel better. So, you decided to write him a love letter.

Cliché.

You know.

But at the time, it sounded like a good idea, and you didn’t have the guts to tell John directly nor tell him over messages, where every conversation is saved and can haunt you for the rest of your life.

You convinced yourself that writing it on paper that can be easily thrown away and erased from memory was the best option.

You remember writing it in a fit of emotional turmoil.

Although you wrote the letter and poured your heart and soul into it, you never gave it to John. You chickened out last minute and had put it inside of your backpack instead of his mailbox.

Thoughts about the future state of you two’s long-term friendships began to worry you when you attempted to put it in. You thought about how the information in the letter you wrote would completely change it. For better or worse, you don’t know. However, you didn’t want to risk the chance.

So, you stuffed the letter back into your backpack, and as time moved on, you forgot it was in there.  

Eventually, school started back up again, and by that time, your crush on John was nonexistent.

You had completely moved on from John Egbert, and you two’s friendship was back to normal.

You don’t know why by the end of summer you were over John.

But you weren’t complaining. You were happy to be no longer crying to yourself and wallowing in self-pity for once.

Of course, the next time John sees you, he asks about your whereabouts during the summer and why you didn’t answer most of his messages.

Luckily, you’re a great liar and have a master degree in bull-shitting.

You lied to John that you went out of the country to visit distant relatives over the break. You tell him that there was barely any signal where you went and that your VPN wasn’t working.

When he inquiries about why Rose didn’t go because she was still in town, you come up with a quick lie and tell him she decided to stay home with your Mom, while you and Roxy went.

You’re also lucky that John isn’t the type to ask fifty million questions and doubt the validity of your words.

At first, everything was going swimmingly. You and John were hanging out like best buds again, and you were no longer spending time away from the group.

But then, one day, you received multiple messages from Karkat while you were sitting down in class.

You almost chose to ignore his texts because you’re in your favorite class, Photography, but you know how Karkat can get it and decide it’s best to respond so he’ll leave you alone.

When you open your text messages, Karkat’s texts are capitalized and highlighted bold. The bold draws your attention because Karkat only highlights his writing when there is something urgent.

You feel your stomach churn as you read over the message.

‘ **STRIDER!**

**STRIDER!**

**I KNOW YOU FEEL YOUR PHONE VIBRATING IN YOUR SHITTY ASS PRETTYBOY JEANS!**

**YOU NEVER TURN THE THING OFF!**

**GODDAMNIT!**

**HEY ASSWIPE!**

**STOP IGNORING ME AND ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE FOR FUCKING CHRIST SAKE!**

**I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHOW YOU THAT INVOLVES YOU**!’

The next message he sends you isn’t a text, but a photo.

It’s a photo of your _fucking_ love letter to John taped up onto the mirror in the bathroom of the boy’s locker room for all to see.

‘ ** _DID YOU POST THIS?!?!?!_** ’

Your phone nearly slips out of your hand.

_What. The. Fuck._

Frantically, you search through your bag to find the letter and come up with nothing.

Forgetting your surroundings, you loudly rise from your chair and stuff your notebook and pen into your backpack. You ignore your teacher’s complaints about disturbing the class and storm out of the classroom.

You’re glad that the halls are empty, finding relief in not having to shove past classmates and other students as you run towards the boy’s locker room.

Everything else becomes irrelevant as your primary concern becomes retrieving that _cursed_ letter. 

You slam open the doors to the entrance of the locker room.

You’re out of breath as you frantically look around.

As you twist your head in every direction, you spot a group of boys in the corner of the locker room.

_The bathroom._

You make haste towards the washroom of the locker room; pushing and shoving your peers as you try to reach the mirror. You ignore the loud shouts and complaints as you elbow past them.

When you get to the front of the small-sized crowd, you see it.

It’s your fucking love letter taped to the mirror, for anyone’s eyes to read.

No doubt about it.

It wasn’t some fake ass screenshot that Karkat sent you to be a dick.

From where you’re standing, you can make out your name at the bottom, clear as day.

It’s bright and bold, written in _red_ pen.  

Why in the lord’s name you decided to sign off your name in colorful ink, you cannot recall.

But right now, you’re cursing past Dave for making that decision.

You freeze at the spot.

A million thoughts are coursing through your mind.

_How could this happen?_

_Did someone sneak in your bag when you weren’t looking and steal it?_

_When’s the last time you left your bag unattended?_

_Who could do this?_

_And what were they trying to achieve?!?!_

_Asshole of the year award!_

You can barely feel the faint touch of Karkat’s hand, shaking your shoulder. All you can feel are the stares of your peers. Some of them recognize that you are the author of the letter. The longer you stand there, you become sensitive to the gabs and harsh whispers around you.

Right now, you wish a gaping hole would open up in the Earth and swallow you whole.

You want to cry.

Coming out of your trance, you shove Karkat’s hand from your shoulder and snatch the letter from the mirror. You don’t care who sees you as you crumple the paper in your fist. You don’t care how by reaching for the letter it incriminates you.

**_You. Don’t. Care._ **

That was your **_letter_.**

It wasn’t for anyone’s eyes except for you and John; if you had worked up the courage to hand it over it to him.

When you turn around, you immediately come face to face with you--guess-it, John Motherfucking Egbert.

You forgot he and Karkat shared gym.

How could your day get any worse?

John facial expression is a perfect example of shock. Behind his glasses, his eyes are wide and shaken. With how still he’s standing, he appears to be rooted in place. You can read the surprise and confusion in his eyes.

His mouth moves, but no words come out.

You feel your eyes start to water.

_Fuck this shit._

Not wanting to cry in front of John or the rest of your peers, you hide your face as you dart past John. You ignore the shout of your name from Karkat as you run away from the scene. You don’t know where you’re going, but you allow your feet to carry you as you sprint out the front doors of the school and bolt home.

That was three weeks ago.

You wish you could find out who was the douchebag that outed you and punch them in their goddamn face.

You weren’t ready yet to tell your friends – let alone the school- about your sexuality.

You especially weren’t ready to disclose that you had been crushing on John.

But everyone knows now, including your sisters.

Once Roxy found out from Rose, both your sisters have tried to talk with you about the incident.

Roxy has attempted to talk with you in private since discovering about said news.

Late last night, she came to your door, knocking softly on the wooden doorframe, silently asking for permission to be let in. When she received no response from you, she let out a loud audible sigh before speaking in a hushed voice.

She said that she knows you’re hurt right now because not only was your sexuality put on display but your feelings for John as well. She mentions how you must feel humiliated and embarrassed, but that you shouldn't feel ashamed. That there is nothing wrong with you and whoever decided to do that to you will have hell to pay once they’re found out. Finally, she reassured you that she’s here to lend an ear if you need her, and that time will pass, and he and John will both view this as a silly memory one day.

When you hear the pitter-patter of her feet head back to her room, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for shrugging her off. 

Unlike Roxy, Rose doesn’t let you off the hook easy. She has attempted multiple times to corner you outside and inside of the house. At school, Rose stalks after you in the halls. Sometimes, she waits outside of your classroom for you. A reason you’ve been skipping classes. 

Two days ago, she sent you a long-winded message through chat.

You almost decided to ignore it but changed your mind when you kept hearing the notification ring.

In the text, she expressed that she was growing frustrated with your erratic behavior and that you're behaving "difficultly" as she put it kindly. She stated that she understood that you were upset and that you have every right to be. However, it didn’t excuse you from isolating yourself from the people who care about you from your life, and who wish to support you during this time. 

She continued by explaining that John has no ill feelings towards you and that he regrets not reassuring you in your time of need.

She describes that he was surprised to learn about your feelings for him. He stated that he never imagined you of all people would fall head over heels for him. Also, that you never gave off certain “vibes,” that would have hinted your interest.

His words, not hers she specified.

Finally, she voiced that she’s known of your feelings of John for quite some time, and she understands how you feel. Rose disclosed to you that she too had a crush on a close friend of the same sex/gender, but they rejected her when she finally worked up the nerves to confess last year.

She knows this can be a challenging time for anyone, and she wishes you would rely on her a bit more for support. 

She is your sister, after all.

When you read that part of her message, your fingers twitched. The strong desire to reassure Rose and apologize for how shitty you’ve been treating her.

Also, you want to explain to Rose that you’re no longer crushing on John and you’re merely mad at being forced to come out without your consent. 

Recently, it had been in the back of your mind to tell those closest to you about your sexuality. 

You knew it wouldn’t be a big deal and it would be received well by most of them, considering a lot of your friends don’t fall under the heteronormative agenda anyways. 

There was a lot of realizations that happened this past school year.

Maybe shocking at first to those that don’t know you well, but that’s it.

That was the original game plan.

Only disclose to a few people you trust at first - family and best friends.

But that’s all changed.

Now the whole shit-bag 9th grade and whomever they associate with knows.

Karkat wasn’t the only person who took a snapshot of your letter that day. 

The news spread across the grade like wildfire.

Just thinking about it makes you want to pull at your hair.

Why are people garbage?

You groan and turn down the music you’re listening to a dull hum. 

It’s useless to continue listening to loud music when it’s neither distracting you nor drowning out your thoughts.

However, when you do this, you hear a light knock on your door.

You take your headphones off.

You swivel around in your chair and stare at your door.

It’s silent for a moment before the knocking repeats.

You let out a small groan.

It’s either Roxy or Rose again attempting to talk with you again you automatically decide.

The longer you stare at your door, you begin to realize how silly you’re being.

Your sisters only want to help you, and in response, you’ve refused to take note of their efforts and acknowledge them.

You’re acting like a complete and total jackass to the two people who care most about you on this godforsaken planet.

This thought makes you feel guilt-ridden and ashamed.

When you hear the fourth knock strike against the wooden door frame, you decide to stop being a moping little shit and let your sisters inside your room. 

Getting up from your desk chair, you walk over to your bedroom door and unlock it.

Right hand gripping the knob, you twist it, expecting to see either Rose or Roxy on the other side.

It isn’t.

Instead of your sisters, you come face to face with the broad chest of Dirk Strider.

_What the-?_

You take a step back out of shock.

You were not expecting Dirk to be standing outside of your bedroom door.

At the sight of you, he lifts his hand in greeting.

“How’s it going little man?” Dirk greets, a small grin plastered on his face.

You’re completely bewildered.

_What the ever-loving-fuck is Dirk doing here?_

Did he come over to visit Roxy?

Of course, he did.

Don’t be stupid.

But why is he standing outside of your door at one of the lowest points of your life?

Why is he standing outside of your door instead of your _siblings?_

_Where are your sisters?_

Shouldn’t one of them have warned Dirk not to have bothered you because you were in one of your moods?

Not taking notice of your puzzlement or deciding to ignore it plainly, Dirk continues speaking to you.

“I’m assuming you were busy and that’s the reason you left me hanging outside your bedroom door for so long,” he states.

He makes a show of poking his head into your room and looking around.

You feel the tips of your ears flush as Dirk’s leans over you to peek inside your room.

Your breath becomes short due to his proximity. You become hyperaware of the black v-neck he’s wearing. His neckline and upper chest both exposed to you.

**_Whoa._ **

“Y-yeah,” you stutter.

You take a step back to create some space between the two of you.

“Sorry about that, man,” you apologize. “I was busy producing some sick new beats and got caught up.”

“Yeah?” Dirk remarks. He cocks his head to the side and raises a visible eyebrow in curiosity.

Before, you used to find the jester cocky whenever Dirk showed off his mastery skills of being able to lift one eyebrow. But now, you can’t help but find it smooth and a perfect example of how cool he is.

“Yeah,” you repeat.

The palms of your hand feel sweaty, and your breathing quickens the longer you talk with Dirk.

This reaction has been happening recently as of late whenever you’re in Dirk’s presence.

You’re not sure why but being around him lately makes you feel as if your world is off-kilter.

Dirk shuffles his feet around and puts his hands in his pants pockets.

“Do you mind if I can get a sneak peek at what you have so far?” He inquires.

Typically, you would be happy to show off Dirk your latest mix project but not now. You haven’t been mixing anything since the incident as of school, and he would figure out you were lying to him if you tried to pass off one of your old mixes as new.

“Uh, no,” you reply. “This is a personal project. It’s for my ears only and _mine_ alone.”

You cringe inwardly at the sound of your voice. God, you sound like a dick.

Dirk doesn’t seem to mind, however, as he nods his head.

“I understand.”

Next, he leans on your doorframe. Hip cocked and all.

“So, is it okay if I come in?”

You feel your heart skip a beat at the thought of Dirk asking permission to enter your room.

You don’t understand why considering he’s been in your room multiple times before.

 “Yeah, sure.”

As he walks past you, you can’t help but let your eyes roam and take in Dirk’s attire for the day.

Today, Dirk decided to forgo irony in his wardrobe choice and dress casually for once.

He’s sporting tight black ripped jeans and a black V-neck t-shirt that hugs his chest _just right_.

You can’t help but stare at his tight-fitting outfit, as it showcases his form and his shoulder-sleeve tattoos. You’ve seen photos of Dirk’s recent addition of symbols off of Roxy’s phone, but seeing them in person is a whole other experience. The black ink on his skin is bold and contrasts with the grey and white shadows, giving the design an almost 3D effect. The ink spirals, twists, and knots in different directions, as if they are waves. Within the spirals, are other shapes – triangles, squares, diamonds, and circles. It’s heavily detailed to the point his arm almost looks mechanical.

It’s breathtaking.

The thought that he looks handsome slips into the back of your mind.

Dirk takes a seat at the edge of your bed, politely moving the clutter you have situated at the bottom to the side as his rump touches your mattress.

_Oh my god, he’s sitting on your bed._

Dirk’s been in your room before, but he’s never been comfortable enough to sit down in it.

You’re hyper fixated on the information.

“What have you been up to lately, Dave?” Dirk asks, breaking you out of your stupor.

You feel your cheeks go pink in the realization that you’ve been ogling him for quite some time now.

“Nothing much,” you calmly reply, praying your cheeks are not too red to the point he’ll notice.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. You walk over and quietly take a seat back in your desk chair. You swivel it around, so you’re directly facing Dirk.

“I’ve been busy with schoolwork,” you lie to him. “The quarter is about to end in three weeks, and I have to study for exams. Other than that, I haven’t been doing anything much.”

Dirk bobs his head at your response. “I understand that feel little bro. It can be quite the hectic time when exams are around the corner.”

He then takes a look around your room. You wonder if he’s taken note of the awkward air between the two of you. God, you wished that you would snap out of it and carry a conversation like any rational average person.

Unknowingly, you start tapping your fingers against the arm of the chair in nervousness.

Next, Dirk points at a corner of your room.

“You skateboard?” He asks.

You twist your head to where his fingers are pointing.

In the corner of your room, by your closet door, sits a shortboard skateboard.

It stands out, clear as day, in your bedroom. Its bold colors of red, white, and black, a contrast to your cream color walls.

“Nah,” you answer. “I was given it as a present last Christmas from one of mom’s associates. I haven’t had the chance to learn how to ride it, so it just sits there and collects specks of dust or whatever.”

Dirk makes a humming noise in the back of his throat.

Neither of you speaks up for a while.

The only sound being the constant tapping of your fingers.

Finally, Dirk takes the initiative and speaks up.

“Would you like me too?”

You blink at him.

“Would I like you too, what?” You repeat.

Your positive Dirk’s rolling his eyes at you behind his shades.

“Would you like me to teach you how to ride a skateboard?”

You stop tapping the arm of your chair.

You were _not_ expecting that question.

“Umm,” you hesitate. “Aren’t you hanging out with Rox?”

Dirk shrugs at your question. “I was,” he answers casually. His calm and collected response throws you off. “But, Roxy left not too long ago. She mentioned that she had a few errands to run, but I could make myself at home while she was away.”

He then leans over and intertwines his fingers, staring directly at you.

“So I decided I want to hang out with you today instead,” he states. “I can teach you how to ride a skateboard, and we can go to Mel’s Diner for a burger later on.”

Your mouth goes dry at Dirk’s words.

You did not plan to hang out with anyone today, let alone Dirk.

It’s not that you don’t like spending time with Dirk.

Because you most definitely do.

You _love_ spending time with him.

Over the summer break, you had the opportunity to spend lots of quality time with him. Your sister Roxy included, of course.

Since you were still stuck on John and actively avoiding him, you decided to hang out with Dirk and Roxy more.

They were the only visible option considering that if you hung out with any of your other friends, there was a high chance of running into John.

It was a plus that Roxy kept inviting you out with them because she felt you were spending too much time at home alone.

Never once did she think to ask why you were spending so much time at home. Probably writing off your behavior as one of those “teenager things” that you hear her and mom sometimes discuss late at night when they think you and Rose have gone to bed and are talking about how the two of you have changed.

As might be expected, Roxy didn’t mind your requests to hang out with them. She saw it as quality “sibling-bonding,” and that it was precious her younger brother wanted to spend time with her.

Dirk was chill about it as well, because in his eyes, 'you’re the coolest, most rad, and the most kick-ass kid he’s ever met.' You tagging along on his and Rox’s adventures is a plus in his mind.

You remember you made the most embarrassing sound in the back of your throat when Dirk said that about you.

You can recall him laughing at your embarrassment and running his fingers through your hair in a reassuring manner. The memory of his calloused fingers brushing against the back of your neck sends jolts down your spine.

Also, during the summer, you learned a lot about Dirk’s personal life.

You learned that he grew up in foster care and that he supports himself going to college through scholarships, financial aid, and working part-time. He doesn’t like to share to people often that he grew up in foster care because he hates the pitying looks others give him. Also, he hates that after finding out about his background, people either treat him like he’s fragile or treat him like a walking statistic.

The only people who know this detail about him are Jake, Jane, Roxy, and now you.

You didn’t know how to feel when he shared this personal part of him with you.

But you couldn’t deny it made you feel kind of special.

It made you feel that you meant some importance to him.

Further along, you discovered he lived in a one-bedroom apartment that he shares with his roommate, Horuss. They both have a shared interest in engineering and the show, _My Little Pony_.

When you and Roxy were invited over to his apartment, you found out that not only is Dirk’s bedroom the living room but that he owned a snowshoe cat by the name of “AR.”

When you asked Dirk what AR stands for, he explained to you it meant, “Asshole Regal.” He told you that he had rescued the cat when he was walking back home late one night. He kept hearing a mewling cry come from an empty box left on the side of the road and his curiosity got the best of him, so he went to check it out. In it, he found a starving kitten inside.

Dirk couldn’t comprehend how the kitten was still alive, nor could he understand what compelled him to take the kitten home. As soon as he arrived home, he immediately went on the internet and researched how to care for a malnourished kitten.

The next day, Dirk went out and bought a whole bunch of cat food and supplies. It took some time for the kitten to warm up to him, viewing Dirk as someone not to be trusted for the longest. However, after multiple baths and attempts at feeding, the kitten realized that Dirk was harmless.

As time passed, the kitten started to become healthy again, and Dirk realized he now had a pet to raise. 

Dirk gave the kitten the name AR after the little shit deliberately broke a cup he had sitting on his desk nearby because Dirk wasn’t giving it enough attention. He was busy typing up a history paper he had due the next day.

When Dirk glared at the feline for its bad behavior, the cat legit made a huffing noise under its breath and pointed its nose high up in the air as if it was offended by Dirk’s stern look.

After that incident, the feline became a pain in Dirk’s ass every day since.

You can remember the shock and betrayal on Dirk’s face when AR legit cuddled up on your lap and started lapping at your finger with its tongue.

You laughed at Dirk’s obvious jealousy that his cat was giving you affection instead of him.

Finally, you learned he had a strange fixation on robotics and puppets.

The dude legit owns a Kermit hand puppet and practices ventriloquism on it.

It freaked you the hell out at first. You had a phobia of puppets and dolls after watching a specific horror movie with them as a child.

However, after Dirk inquired did you want to make a funny vine video with him involving it, you got used to it.

The vine had about over 1,000 likes and 5,000 loops.

You’re still scared shitless though of puppets.

But yeah.

You have no problem with hanging out with Dirk because you’ve spent so much time with him.

However, it would be your first time being with Dirk without the company of your sisters nearby.

Rose was invited to a friend’s family gathering for the day and left home earlier this morning. And since Roxy is running necessary errands right now, it’s just you and him.

_Alone._

The two of you only having each other’s company to keep entertained.

The thought alone floods you with excitement and anxiousness.

You worry you might embarrass yourself being alone with him.

Lately, you feel as if you don’t know how to behave around Dirk. The slight need to impress and act smoothly in front of him, controlling your every action and behavior.

Perhaps you’re experiencing that thing where people feel the constant need to impress those they respect highly.

Because you do admire Dirk.

_So much._

You lick your lips in unease.

Your mouth opens, but no words come out.

Taking your silence as rejection, Dirk throws his head back and makes an exaggerated sigh.

“Let me guess,” he voices. “You don’t feel comfortable hanging out alone with me, huh, Dave?”

Not knowing how to reply, you remain quiet.

Dirk playfully huffs and leans back on your bed.

“That’s a shame,” he remarks. He looks down at his lap, playing the sad and dejected look to a fucking point. He deserves an Oscar for his acting skills.

“I thought we developed a closer relationship over the summer,” he laments. “It saddens me to know that we aren’t as close as I thought we were, little man.”

You can’t help the jolt that goes through your body at Dirk’s words.

“That’s not it!” You blurt out, your hands gripping tightly on the arms of your chair.

Dirk’s head snaps up at your sudden declaration, surprise written on his face.

You feel your face become red and hot in embarrassment at your sudden outburst.

You don’t understand why you felt the strong urge to defend yourself against Dirk’s words, knowing he was joking.

You attempt to save face by relaxing in your chair.

“I-I mean,” you stammer. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang dude, because I _totes_ do. I don’t feel like falling flat on my ass today.”

Dirk’s facial expression changes from that of astonishment to amusement at your response.

“Is that all?” He asks. “If that’s the case, you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head. Don’t worry princess. I’ll catch you.”

You feel your earlier embarrassment quickly change to that of annoyance.

The left corner of your eye slightly twitching at Dirk’s words.

“Bro. Stop calling me that.”

“I will once you stop acting like one.”

You can’t help but let out a groan.

_God, why is he so frustrating?_

As you smack your hand to your forehead in agitation, Dirk makes the motion to stand up and walk over to the corner of your room. He picks up your skateboard and scrutinizes it.

When he turns back towards you, there is a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his hips. His hips lightly jutted to the side.

“So, are you down to skateboard or what?”

_Shit._

You both love and hate when Dirk uses that tone of voice to you. His voice is intense, yet playful. Whenever he uses it, you feel compelled to agree to anything he asks.

Not for the first time, you wonder why he has this strong of an effect on you.

“Okay,” you reply.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if you’re making the wrong decision by accepting Dirk’s invitation.

The smile that Dirk rewards you for your agreeance assures you that you’re not.

When you inquire Dirk about which skate park will the two of you be going to; he suggests that the two of you walk to the skate park that is a few blocks down from your home. He states that it’s an excellent place to learn and an environment you’ll feel more comfortable because it’s not over-packed with obnoxious assholes that believe they own the skate park.

Before the two of you exit the home, you make sure to grab your keys and text Roxy about your whereabouts.

You’re stunned at how quickly she responds.

She expresses that she hopes the two of you have fun and for you to be careful and not try any stupid stunts when Dirk is teaching you.

Next, she announces that her errands are taking longer than expected, and she will probably make it back home in the evening.

She doesn’t make any comment about you finally leaving your room after weeks of hard efforts from both her and Rose.

A voice in the back of your mind whispers that Roxy’s relaxed attitude to you no longer acting like a hermit is suspicious, but you shrug it off, writing it off as paranoia.

After texting your sister, you relay to the Dirk the information she sent you.

Dirk nods at your words and responds that it’s good the two of you will be out late then.

Next, he tells you to reassure Roxy that he’ll make sure you’re well behaved.

You make the failed attempt to kick Dirk’s shin.

He ends up tripping you in retaliation.

It takes about 15 minutes for the two of you to walk to the local skate park in the neighborhood.

The skate park is small, but not too small. It’s gated off and is mostly flat. Grass surrounds the outer area of the park. The skate park only has a few features such as a bank, ledge, and a quarter pipe. It’s nothing too grand or spectacular like larger skate parks, but it’s nice and fulfills its purpose.

There are not too many people at the skate park when Dirk and you arrive. Only four people, both of you included.

As the two of you pass through the park’s gates, Dirk immediately points to a large patch of grass on the left side of the park.

“There,” he announces firmly.

He rushes ahead of you, leaving you to follow after him as he leads the way. You clutch your skateboard close to your chest in anxiousness.

When the two of you reach the spot, Dirk takes a quick eye sweep of the area. His head twists left and right. It’s as if he’s judging if the area is good enough for practice.

Whatever Dirk was looking for seems to satisfy him as he nods his head.

“This is a perfect spot,” he declares, hands on his hips.

Next, Dirk immediately turns his attention back to you and starts spouting off instructions to you before you even have the chance to speak up.

“Now Dave,” Dirk states, pointing a finger down at the luscious green ground. “You’re going to practice on this patch of grass, right here. The grass will prevent the skateboard from moving and lessen the chance of you falling and hurting yourself.”

You shuffle your feet a bit in unease.

“Shouldn’t I be wearing headgear or something?” You ask. “Y’know? To make sure I don’t end up with a head concussion in case I fall?”

“That is correct,” he affirms. “Proper safety procedures call that you should be wearing a helmet and knees pads. However, you don’t have any protective gear, and we’re not going to be doing anything extreme. All I’m going to be teaching is warm-up and beginner exercises.”

“Uh-huh.”

Interpreting your response as a sign of discomfort, Dirk attempts to ease your worries.

“Don’t stress Dave,” he insists. “I promised you that I would make sure nothing serious would happen to you. Also, it would be pretty asshole-ish of me to teach you great skateboarding tricks, and you don’t know anything about it. Perhaps, when you have bought yourself at least a helmet, I can teach you some awesome skills, but for now, we are simply doing beginner practices.”

Feeling your shoulders relax in relief, you let out a small sigh.

“Alright, man,” you say.

“Okay, then.” Dirk proclaims. He then switches from comforting mode back to teaching mode.

“Dave, I want you to place your board on the ground and stand on top of it.”

_Really? That’s the first exercise?_

“Wow. That’s totally something I need taught to me and need to practice on,” you reply sarcastically, as you follow Dirk's instructions. “Like, get on top of a skateboard. That’s groundbreaking. I mean, it's earth-shattering.”

Having grown used to your sarcastic responses, Dirk replies with sarcasm too.

“I’m glad to know you acknowledged both my superior teachings, as well as your lack of competence when it comes to practical things.”

“Gee I think you are right! All hail the mighty head! Like my God, Sherlock! I wonder how I would have figured that one by myself without your help.”

“Better watch the sarcasm, Dave. Or else I won’t feel inclined to buy you a chocolate milkshake later on.”

_Oh crap._

Okay, time to stop being a little shit to be a little shit.

You immediately shut your mouth in response.

You do not mess around when it comes to the promises of sweets.

Dirk huffs at your quick change in behavior.

“That’s what I thought,” he states. You resist the urge to stick your tongue at him in retaliation.

“Now are you ready for me to teach you and stop being a pain the ass?”

“Yes,” you groan.

“Okay,” he voices. “As I was saying, Dave, I want you to stand on top of the board and make sure your feet are near the bolts?”

With your feet on top of the board and the board remaining steady because it’s on solid dirt, you shuffle your feet to wear the screws are on both ends.

“Like this?” You inquire.

“Correct,” Dirk confirms. “Now, I want you to lean forward and backward. Make sure you’re using your toes and heels, as well as bending your knees.”

You follow Dirk instructions. You push your weight back and forth on the board, as you bend your knees a little. The board moves very little as you shift your weight back and forth. You feel as if you’re playing one of those snowboarding videogames you’ve seen at the local arcade by the movie theatre.

“Dude, I feel stupid.” You tell Dirk.

It’s awkward standing outside on top of your board at the other side of the skate park. While there may be not a lot of people here and the other two people here are not concerned with anything you’re doing, you can’t help but feel silly.

“Patience, young David.” Dirk remarks. “We are doing this to make sure you’re comfortable on the board and that you have correct footing. All of that matters when it comes to riding. Would you have preferred to be doing this on the concreate and have the board easily slip from under you?”

You hate when Dirk asks you a question he knows the answer too.

“No,” you pout.

Not wanting to start an argument, you continue obeying Dirk’s previous instructions. However, you grow bored quickly of moving back and forth, and you begin to light hop on top of the board, testing the board’s durability.

Dirk watches you for a minute as you jump up and down before releasing a small sigh.

“Dave,” he announces, causing you to stop jumping.

His facial expression looks gravely severe as he stares at you. “If you feel that bored and comfortable on the board, we can move on, and I can begin to teach you how to start riding.”

“Seriously, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m serious,” Dirk answers. He then runs his fingers in his hair in exasperation. “I’m not going to force you to do anything, and if you feel that bored with what we’re doing, we can simply move on.”

You refrain yourself from throwing both arms in the arm and letting out a loud, ‘whoop!’

Instead, you ask him what he is going to teach you next.

“Next, we’re going to practice on the concrete,” Dirk voices.

He walks 5 feet to where grass meet pavement, expecting you to follow him.

You step off and grab hold of your board, walking over to where Dirk is standing on the pavement.

When you set your board back down, you question him whether or not you’re going to repeat the same thing you just did on the grass but solid ground.

“No,” he quickly answers. “Instead, you’re going to have one foot on the board while the other is planted firmly on the ground. You’re going to slowly push yourself with the foot that’s not on the ground.”

“Sweet,” you reply.

Honestly, you can’t deny that you’re somewhat excited to be learning how to skateboard. Also, you can’t hide that you’re relishing over the fact Dirk is the one teaching you and all the attention he is paying to you.

You do what Dirk asked of you, placing one your left foot on the board while having the other still on the pavement.

You feel the board shift a little under your foot as you place your foot on top, but you don’t fret and make sure to keep it still.

“Alright,” Dirk states. “Use your other foot that’s on the push yourself forward. However, I want you to take it slow and do small steps at first. It’s easy to lose balance and fall if you put too much power into your momentum.”

God.

Sometimes you wonder what does Dirk take you for?

_A child?_

“Pfft. Don’t sweat it, bro. I got this.” You express to him confidently.

“What’s so hard about that? I can easily push myself without adding too much force.”

With that line, you might have jinxed yourself. Immediately afterward, you push yourself forward, and the board slips beneath your left foot. It moves from under your foot like sand or butter, and it catches you off guard.

You try to find your balance, but you've leaned back too far to find any stable footing.

You close your eyes and curse yourself for having spoken so soon.

 _Oh, fuck_!

You attempt to braise yourself for impact, yet you never feel the harsh smack of your body slamming against the ground.

Instead, you feel a strong and frim arm come swiftly under your lower back and hold you up as you fall backward.

When you re-open up your eyes, you graced with the sharp and angular features of Dirk’s face. His face is legit hovering about a foot away from you, and his left arm is wrapped around your small waist tightly. From this proximity, you can make out his amber eyes from behind his shades.

While his outer self remains calm, you can make out the emotions of worry and relief in his eyes. You feel a small puff of air from his mouth ghost over your lips.

You feel your cheeks involuntarily flush at this.

_Whoa._

Instead of receiving a mocking, “I told you so,” Dirk replies with another cheeky response.

“I told you I'd be there to catch you if you fall.”

_Fuck._

That was absolutely cliché, but damn does it leave you speechless.

It doesn’t help that he decides to flash you a smirk that takes your breath away, on top of it.

_Why does Dirk have to be so charming???_

For some reason, you can’t help but feel as if you’re slowly melting in his arms as time passes. You feel safe and secure while’s he’s holding you up. Your body is humming in nervousness and something else.

Something that feels vaguely familiar…

There’s the fleeting thought that you wish this moment could last forever.

However, the moment is short-lived as Dirk helps lift you back to standing position.

You stumble a bit as you gain back your grounding, and clutch onto one of his arms for balance.

“That why I said you have to take everything slow,” Dirk scolds. He removes his arm from around you. “It’s easy to lose balance on a skateboard if you add too much force to your velocity. It’s happened to me before. However, unlike you, I didn’t have someone to catch me. You’re lucky that-”

You’re barely listening to Dirk’s lecture.

Your mind stuck on how close Dirk’s face was to yours and how safe and secure you felt in his arm.

You can still feel the lingering weight of his hand on your lower waist.

_Wow._

_Dirk’s face is more handsome up close._

_Not only is he more handsome but ~~hewasclosetothepointyoucouldhavekissedhim.~~_

“Hey, Dave! Are you alright, kid?”

Dirk’s voice cuts through your thoughts like a knife through butter.

“Y-yeah! I’m fine,” you stutter.

Dirk raises an eyebrow at your flounder. In the back of your mind, you pray that the flush on your face is no longer visible and he can’t read minds.

Dirk places his hand on your shoulder. There is a faint expression of concern written across his face.

“Dave,” he speaks softly. His soft-spoken voice causes a shiver to run down your spine. “You look shaken up. We don’t have to continue doing this if you’re not really up for it.”

“No! That’s not it,” you assure him. “I was simply caught off guard by how easily the board glides and lost my balance.”

You don’t want to stop practicing with your skateboard just yet.

In the beginning, you may not have had a keen interest in it, but spending time with Dirk is the most fun thing you’ve done in the last couple of weeks.

You don’t want to cut your time with him short.

With everything else going on in your life, you want to spend as much time with him as you can.

Being with Dirk brings you peace of mind.

~~_Being with Dirk also makes you want to hold him and never let go._ ~~

Also, the two of you have barely started.

Dirk nods his head at your words. “I understand, but you appear to be a little… Off. Is there something bothering you, little man?”

_~~Yeah. You.~~ _

“I think I might be a little tired today.” You lie smoothly. “Last night, I didn’t get enough sleep.”

“Then do you wish to practice more or do you want to head out now?” Dirk inquires.

At that moment, your stomach decides to cut in and make an obnoxious growl.

Your cheeks redden in embarrassment as the edges of Dirk’s mouth lifted.

“Well, that answers my question then,” Dirk chuckles.

He walks away from you to quickly grab the skateboard that rolled away about 20 feet from you. As Dirk bends over to reach it, your eyes are glued to his backside. Shit. How did he even fit into those jeans? They almost appeared to be sculpted on.

However, when your thoughts begin to drift, and you can’t help but think Dirk has a nice ass, you force your eyes to look the other away.

“We can practice another day,” Dirk announces as he walks towards you, skateboard clutched beneath his right arm. “Let’s go grab a bite to eat. I’m feeling a bit peckish myself.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes from your nose.

“Peckish? Dude? What are you? An old woman that hasn’t updated herself on 21st-century vocabulary?”

“Nope. I’m 23 and dead. I’ve been cursed to live out the rest of my days spending my time with someone unwell versed such as yourself.”

You lift your hand to your heart, gripping your chest.

“Ouch, that hurt my feelings bro. Please, someone, call life-alert because I’ve fallen and can’t get up.”

Being dramatic, you swoon onto Dirk’s chest, feigning pain.

“Pshhh,” Dirk remarks. “Stop being dramatic, you drama queen.”

Dirk then playfully pushes you off his chest by nudging your shoulders.

Next, he ruffles your hair in good humor.

“Let’s hurry up and grab a bite to eat, brat.”

With Dirk holding onto your skateboard, the two of you head out of the skate park and walk over to the bus stop. It doesn’t take long for the bus arrive to bring the two of you Downtown to Mel’s Diner.

On the bus, Dirk asks you have you tried the new candy store that recently open at the edge of town. He’s well-aware that you have sweet-tooth and that you can never say no to junk food. Your jaw drops in shock because no you did not hear that a candy shop has opened up in town. You ask Dirk whether or not he’s lying to you because if he is, that would be uncool.

He laughs at your childish reaction and promises that he’s not lying.

The discussion about the new shop soon leads to Dirk swearing to you he’ll take you there next time the two of you are out together.

If you were a dog, you would piss yourself out of sheer joy.

It’s about a 45 minutes bus ride to get downtown. Luckily, the bus stop is right in front of Mel’s Diner, so the two of you do not have very far to walk.

When the two of you pass through the diner’s doors, you notice that there are very people inside considering its past lunchtime.

The waitress – a 30-year-old brunette- greets the two of you with a smile and leads you to your table.

She takes both of you to a booth next to a window. As the two of you prepare to sit down, Dirk places the skateboard beneath the table out of legs reach to ensure it doesn’t roll away. When each of you is seated, the waitress hands each of you your menus and tells you her name is Anna and that she’ll be your server for the afternoon. Next, she gives the usual waitress spiel and that the two of you can take your time looking at the menus before ordering.

After the waitress leaves, the two of you open your menus out of sheer habit. You barely look at the food listed. Already knowing you’re going to order your usual – a bacon cheeseburger with no tomatoes and a chocolate milkshake, courtesy of Dirk.

While sitting down, the two of you talk about any and everything – movies, games, music, etc. It’s been some time since you’ve been out and you’re quite enjoying the time your spending with Dirk.

Honestly, you’re happy that you can consider Dirk, a friend. He might not be as close to you in age as John, Jane, Terezi, Kanaya, and Karkat are, but he still means a lot to you.

He understands you when everyone else doesn’t.

The next time the waitress arrives at your table before you can even speak up, Dirk orders not only for himself but for you. He voices to her that you want a bacon cheeseburger with no tomatoes, as well as a chocolate milkshake.

You’re stunned by this event.

After the waitress leaves, you inquire Dirk as to how he knew what you were planning to order.

Without missing a beat, Dirk replies that of course, he’s going to remember because he spent so much time with you. He continues by stating that he always pay attention to the people he cares for in his life.

You don’t know, but your stomach does a flip at this information.

You lower your head to hide the blush you know is forming on your face.

_Man._

Dirk is truly something astounding.

When the waitress arrives back with your food and drinks, the two of you politely thank her for her service.

Hey, servers have a tough job and deserve respect for the amount of bs they put up with at their job.

After she leaves, you immediately start to dig into your food.

Shit, you were starving.

You relish in the savory taste and lingering taste the burger leaves on your lips.

Food is truly a blessing.

While you’re eating, you can’t help but notice that Dirk looks a bit uncomfortable from the other side of the table. He’s barely touched the food on his plate, and his finger keeps tapping on the table. Before, he was cheerfully talking with you and acting like he didn’t have a care in the world.

But now, he looks uneasy and tense.

The entire time he’s staring straight at you while you’re eating.

You become self-conscious under his gaze and have the strong desire to wipe away the trail of grease that has dribbled down your chin.

Growing nervous under his stare, you decide to speak up and ask Dirk if something is bothering him.

“Hey Dirk,” you say.

Dirk appears to perk up at your voice and come out of whatever trance he was in.

“Are you okay, man? You haven’t touched the food on your plate, and you’ve been staring at me for the last few minutes.”

Dirk remains silent after this. He looks away from you, turning his head to stare outside the window. He appears lost in thought again, and you can see his lips twist down in discomfort.

It remains this way for quite some time until Dirk lets out a long exhale.

“Dave,” Dirk sighs. He turns his attention back to you and folds his arms in front of him on the table.

“There’s something that I’ve been having on mind all day that I need to confess,” he states.

You lift an eyebrow in puzzlement.

_Confession?_

_What does Dirk need to confess to you?_

Next, Dirk runs a hand down his face in anxiousness.

You grow nervous as you watch this open display of emotions.

Whatever it is, it must be something serious for how troubled he looks.

He then continues where he left off with a groan. “The reason why I’m admitting this to you because you deserve to know and I would feel like a complete ass if I kept this hidden from you.”

You set the remains of your burger on the plate as curiosity begins to rear itself in your pretty little head.

Dirk stares at you deadly serious as the next words fall from his lips.

“The reason why I came over and took you out today is that Roxy asked for my help to see what’s wrong with you.”

What.

The.

Actual.

_Fuck._

Are you fucking _kidding_?

Is he serious?

The reason Dirk knocked on your door and asked to hang out with you today was because of _Roxy_?

A part of you hopes that he is joking but based on the expression on his face, you know it’s anything but a joke.

Your mouth twists into a visible frown, and you look down at your lap.

You’re pissed off.

Not only are you pissed off, but you’re _hurt_.

You’re not so much hurt learning that Roxy orchestrated this whole thing. That explains why Roxy didn’t grill you about finally getting out after weeks and why she randomly decided to leave Dirk at the house by himself. You now realize she was never running errands, and it was her excuse to leave Dirk with you for the day.

You remain silent for a moment as you try to gather your thoughts together.

"Where is Roxy right now?" You murmur to him.

God, your voice sounds horrible.

You can hear the pain in it.

Dirk doesn't miss a beat.

"She's spending time with Jane and Calliope," he tells you.

You knew it.

The expression of Dirk looks ashamed as he tells you this, knowing you concluded that Roxy running errands was a lie.

Good. Dirk should be ashamed.

While this information hurts you, you’re more hurt learning that the only reason why Dirk wanted to spend time with you alone was that Roxy asked him.

You thought the two of you had grown close to each other to the point that Dirk considers you a friend. That he views you as ‘Dave,’ and not just ‘Roxy’s Lil’ brother.’

However, this appears to be false based on what he just told you.

This realization hurts you more than you realize.

You like and respect Dirk a lot.

_~~Like a lot.~~ _

But it seems that he’ll only take notice of you as long as Roxy’s involved.

_What the actual fuck, man._

Your heart feels like it was ran through with a knife.

You feel tears prick at the ridges of your eyes, but you don’t allow them to fall out of sheer pride.

“Now Dave,” Dirk speaks up again. “I know you’re mad and upset by this.”

“You think?” You interrupt.

Shit.

Your voice may have cracked just then.

You don’t want him to know how much this is affecting you. You pray he doesn’t notice the lone tear that managed to trail down your face.

You quickly try to wipe away, pretending that you’re trying to remove a piece of dust that flew into your eye.

Dirk's face is a picture of shame as he continues to gaze at you. “I understand you're pained by me revealing this to you, Dave,” Dirk remarks. “However, I thought it would be best that you knew the truth. I couldn’t live with myself lying to you.”

“Oh. Wow. So the only reason you’re confessing to me is to elevate your guilty conscious? Aren’t you self-less?” You reply, sarcastically.

Did Dirk think you would be that quick to forgive him with those words alone?

“That’s not what I meant, Dave,” Dirk retorts. “I chose to tell you the truth because I consider you a dear friend.”

You scoff at Dirk’s words, not believing them for a second.

“Yeah, I’m sure you do,” you sneer. “You only consider me a friend because I’m Roxy’s little brother. That’s the whole reason you arranged for this is that Roxy asked you too.”

Damn. You’re so upset.

You don’t want to be around Dirk anymore.

Seeing his face makes you want to cry.

You can’t believe he and Roxy would do this to you.

Dirk then decides to reach over the table and place his hand over one of your hands seated on top. You feel the desire to snatch your hand away because of how inflamed you are, but that emotion simmers down when you look at Dirk’s guilt-ridden face.

“That’s not the reason at all, Dave,” he expresses. “I care for you, and I consider you as much as a friend as Roxy. The only reason I agreed to Roxy’s scheme was that I was worried about you too.”

Behind Dirk’s shades, you can see the remorse and regret in his eyes because of how close he is to you. You hate how by merely looking into his eyes make you choke up, and your heart painfully twist.

He squeezes your hand as an apology before leaning back and removing his hand from yours.  

“I understand what’s it like not only falling for a close friend, but your sexuality being outed to people without your consent,” Dirk replies once he’s situated. His expression is somber as he speaks. “It’s not fun, and it’s a shitty experience overall.”

He releases a prolonged exhale - expressing his tiredness.

“When Roxy explained to me what happened, I knew I had to speak to you,” he voiced.

You remain quiet, allowing Dirk the opportunity to explain to you his reason for following your sister’s scheme.

“Cutting yourself off and isolating yourself from the people that care about you won’t help you, Dave. Trust me. I know. Instead, it will only make what you’re going through worse, and you’ll end up hating yourself for ruining your closest relationships.”

While he explains this to you, his face appears shame-ridden and regretful.

“I was worried you may go experience the same things I went through if you continued with your habit of shutting down and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t offer some friendly advice.”

You’re unsure how to respond to Dirk. However, you have calmed down a bit from your earlier outrage. Listening to Dirk, you recognize where he’s coming from and that he’s only doing what he thought would help you.

“Also, I wouldn’t stress about your friend you liked. John was it?” He questions.

You nod your head in admittance.

“Yeah. Don’t stress too hard about it,” Dirk asserts. “From what I’ve been told it sounds like he’s a true friend and that he cares about you too. Maybe not in the way you wish, but still. The fact he didn’t reject you and is worried about you shows how important you are to him. There will be others that will come into your life besides him, and you’ll experience love many times throughout the rest of your life. Don’t believe your life is over because you’re seriously hung up over of one guy.”

At those words, you have a strong desire to inquire about Dirk’s advancement in his and Jake’s relationship. You know Dirk’s feelings for Jake are severe, and you find it a bit pious for him to be preaching about being stuck on one specific guy when he’s doing the same, based on conversations you’ve overheard from Roxy. However, you know that’s intruding and overstepping boundaries.

Also, you don’t want to talk about Jake.

Lately, if either Roxy or Dirk mentions him in conversations, you become solemn. You can’t help but notice how Dirk’s face lights up like a Christmas tree whenever he hears his name.

Seeing Dirk change from the cool guy you know to a guy who's experienced his first crush is very…

_Heart-rending._

Why you become like that over the sheer mention of Jake’s name is anyone’s guess, so it’s best to not mention him at all in this conversation.

Dirk is spending time with you, after all.

Not Jake.

Instead, you tell Dirk the words you wanted to tell your sister.

“I know,” you reply. “I’ve been acting like an absolute shit lately to everyone in my life. But I was so mad. I didn’t want to come out to the whole grade! Nonetheless, I didn’t want John to find out about my feelings for him like that!”

Dirk nods his head in sympathy.

“I understand,” he remarks. “Whoever posted that letter in the boy’s locker room is a whole ass, and deserve whatever bad comes their way for being a huge dick.”

Dirk expression then changes from that of sympathy to somber.

“But still Dave,” he states. “Don’t let this experience control your life. You have friends and family who love and support you. Roxy, Rose, and I all care about you. Don’t over feel alone or feel like you can’t talk to someone.”

You can’t help the way your stomach twist and turns when Dirk voices his concern for you.

Dirk explaining his affection and how much he cares about you makes your head feel fuzzy, and hands get clammy.

You feel embarrassed by his declarations.

“Alright, alright, alright,” you repeat. You try to save face and pretend you aren’t affected by Dirk's words.

“I get it. You don’t have to keep repeating it to me.”

“Oh? Is that so?” Dirk answers.

“Yes, it is,” you reply. Releasing a sigh of your own, you sit up in your seat. Your back was aching from being hunched over for so long.

“I appreciate you for talking to me about this Dirk,” you say truthfully. “I’ve had this conversation with myself multiple time, but you just reinforced it. I need to stop being a dick to those that only want the best for me, especially considering this is the second time in a little less than a year I’ve done it.”

“It’s no problem, Dave,” Dirk assures. “I’m always here for you if you need me.”

Dirk then leans a bit over the table on his forearm.

“Also Dave, I never want you to think that I’m only spending time with you because your Roxy’s little brother. The relationship I formed with you is separate from what I formed with Roxy. If I didn’t want to hang out with you, I would ignore you. I do enjoy hanging out with you."

_~~Be still, heart.~~ _

“Uh-huh,” you answer, bashfully. To distract yourself from Dirk, you turn your focus back to your unfinished burger, which is now a bit cold.

You pick it up and take a big bite out of it to divert Dirk’s attention from you.

“You own me a new dessert though for not deceiving me but because my milkshake has now become watered down.”

Dirk laughs at your response, and you feel the tips of your ears redden at his hearty laughter.

“Whatever you say, little man,” he states cheerfully.

After, Dirk orders you another dessert of your choosing when the waitress walks by, and the two of you finish your meal. When the two of you walk out together, you can’t help but notice the air between the two of you has changed.

You feel closer to Dirk than before. With Dirk’s confession and him admitting to him that you’re more than just your sister’s little brother to him, you feel as if it has closed the distance between the two of you that was separated due to the age gap.

This revelation makes you feel giddy, and the corners of your lips tug up into a smile.

Next, Dirk asks you do you want to race him to the bus stop at the end of the block to head back home, breaking your chain of thought.

 Of course, you agree to Dirk’s challenge and squawk indignantly when he takes off immediately. You run after him yelling that he’s a cheater.

By the time you reach home, it’s almost sunset, and you spot Roxy exiting from her car in the drive away as you and Dirk approach.

Roxy spots both of you as the two of you come closer, and she raises her hand in a welcoming manner.

 “Oh! Dave and Dirk! Hi!” She exclaims when the two of you are close enough.

As soon as he is in within range, Dirk immediately wraps his arms around your sister.

“Hey Rox,’” he greets. Dirk then removes his arms from around her and takes a step back to stand beside you.

You lift your chin in acknowledgment. “Sup sis.”

Roxy's face is beaming at both of you. “Did the two of you have fun while you were out?” She asks

 “Sure did,” you answer.

You notice how Roxy’s eyes quickly dart to Dirk at that moment before landing back on to you.

If Dirk hadn’t already told you about Roxy’s plan, that right there would have made you suspicious.

“So what did the two of you end up doing?” She voices.

Acting like you don’t know her reasoning for why she’s genuinely asking how your day was, you decide to play it cool for the moment.

“It was fine. Dirk and I went to the skatepark, and then afterward went to Mel’s Diner for a late lunch.”

“Really?” Roxy remarks.

Dirk then points to the skateboard beneath your arm as proof of evidence.

Roxy laughs at herself for lacking awareness.

“Wow. I can’t believe I didn’t notice you were holding onto that Dave.” She then shakes her head in good nature.

“Anyways, I hope you have room still in your stomach though for dinner, Dave. I was thinking of preparing lasagna.”

_Hell yes._

“Lasagna? Sweet.”

At that moment, Dirk decided to cut into the conversation.

“Not trying to interrupt but I have to take my leave. I got a lab report I need to finish up. Also, I got to hurry home and make sure AR hasn’t broken anything in my absence. He throws a fit every time I come home late” Dirk voices.

“Oh, right.” Roxy remarks. “Well, I’ll suppose I’ll talk to you later Dirk.”

When Roxy says this to Dirk, she gives a distinct _look_ that means she wishes to discuss with him about something later on.

You’re positive it’s about you and whether or not Dirk was about to break through with you.

Dirk remains calm and collected, acting like he doesn’t know the hidden meaning behind Roxy’s words nor giving away that you know about their plans.

“For sure,” he states.

Dirk then turns his attention from Roxy to you.

Instead of ruffling your hair like usual, Dirk instead wraps his arms around you and hugs you.

You freeze up at the direct touch.

Dirk has never once hugged you goodbye before.

Your heart rate speeds up at this knowledge, and your mouth becomes dry.

You wonder if Dirk can feel how hard your heart is pounding in your chest.

When Dirk lets you go, he gives you a smile that makes your legs feel like jelly.

“Bye, little bro.”

You’re lost for words and can only stare after Dirk as he turns his back away from you and your sister.  

“Alright. See ya, Dirk!” Roxy calls out.

The two of you watch as he walks out of your sight.

When you can no longer make out his silhouette, you decide to speak up.

“Dirk told me the truth, Roxy.” You mummer.

Never before have you seen your sister turn her head so quickly. It almost looks like she was about to snap her neck.

“He told me how you asked him to come over and try to get me to open up to him. I know you didn’t really have errands and that it was simply an alibi.”

You watch as Roxy expression switches to shock to panic.

Not wanting her to panic and start coming up with excuses, you continue before she can utter a word.

“Don’t worry, I’m not upset,” you tell her.

You pause for dramatic effect before continuing. “Well, I was upset at first, but I know why you did it. I understand that you did it because you were at your wits end about how to deal with me and needed some help.”

Your sister’s facial expression is regretful as she looks at you.

“Oh, Dave,” she moans. She looks about as ashamed as Dirk did when he told you. “I know what I did was an invasion of your privacy, but I was worried about you. You wouldn’t open up to anyone and kept shutting all of us out.”

She shakes her head in embarrassment at her foolish actions. “I know that you admire Dirk quite a bit, so I decided to give him a shot as a last result. Also, I thought he might be able to connect with you more than I could because he had a similar experience. I’m sorry, Dave.”

Roxy's eyes start to water, and she avoids looking at you in shame.

Damn it. Seeing your sister so emotional make you emotional as well.

You can never be mad at Roxy, especially when she gives you that kicked puppy look.

“I’m sorry too, Roxy. I’m sorry I worried you and Rose.”

The two of you then hug.

After a while, Roxy is the first to let go and put space in between the two of you.

There are tears at the corners of her eyes.

“Alright,” she says tearfully. "Let’s go inside now. I need to hurry up and cook dinner before it gets too late.”

You bob your head in agreeance at Roxy’s words and follow her back into the house.

Late at night, after you have had dinner with Roxy – Rose decided to sleepover her friend’s house- you are in your bed relaying everything that has happened today.

Your mind lingers the most on Dirk.

You’re still a little upset at Dirk’s betrayal from earlier, but it means nothing now. Its intensity doesn't compare to the delight you feel at Dirk’s later admission.

Dirk’s an idiot.

But he’s an idiot that means well.

You’re happy to be blessed with the chance of meeting him in your life.

Your thoughts than consist of nothing but Dirk - his eyes, his tattoos, his clothes, his smile, everything.

You shiver when you remember how it felt being held in his arms when you fell today.

God, you hope that it happens again when he teaches you how to skateboard.

_Being in love with Dirk is more exhilarating than being in love with John._

Your eyes snap open in realization.

Fuck.

**_Fuck._ **

Everything starts to piece together in your mind, and you want to smack yourself at your stupidity for not realizing it sooner.

You realize now why you got over John quickly despite having feelings for him for so long.

It’s because you’re now crushing on Dirk.

 

 

 

_Well, shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm halfway finished with this story. I'm so proud of myself.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and comments and feedback are appreciated. It may not seem like I read your comments because I don't respond, but I do. I simply have a busy schedule.
> 
> Again, thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> Happy holidays! 
> 
> Recently, I finished my semester for the school year, and I was able to focus on this chapter. This semester was hell for me, and I had a lot of financial and family issues arise, but I made it. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter because I re-wrote it twice to make sure it sounds right. Again, I'm not an editor, and I tried my best.

Dirk is 24, and you’re 15 when you realize your crush on him _maybe_ a bit more than a crush.

It’s Sunday, and right now, you’re _bored_ out of your mind.

You are lying down on your bed, mindlessly playing  _Animal Crossing: New Leaf_ on your Nintendo 3DS. 

Typically, you would be either finishing up homework or hanging out with your friends on Sunday. 

The four of you would be exploring the common teen hangout spots in town, or the four of you would be goofing around at someone’s house. However, this Sunday, you don’t have any homework and all of your friends are unavailable this weekend.

Recently, John has started working at the local joke shop near the edge of town. 

And to answer the question _, yes._  

The two of you are still close friends.

All it took was Jade and Rose getting sick and tired of both of you guys bullshit for the two of you to start talking again to one another.

They had come up with the brilliant plan to suggest a movie night at Jade’s in her basement – stating to each of you separately that the other wouldn’t be available for the night. 

You should have been suspicious when you saw your sister walk upstairs with Jade. Rose casually mentioning to you that she was going to help her grab a few more snacks. Despite what people thought, your sister was the lazier one between the two of you. She would have convinced you to go upstairs and help Jade instead.

When you saw John descend those stairs, the two of you froze at the sight of one another. Immediately, you had the thought to hightail it out of there, but the girls were quicker. They stated at the top of the stairs and had locked the basement door.

Jade’s muffled voice behind the door yelled that they wouldn’t be unlocking the door until both of you stopped pussyfooting around and talk with one another about the incident while Rose mentioned that this was the best for both you and afterward you guys will be thanking them. 

You were _so_ going to get back at Rose later.

At first, it was a bit awkward between the two of you. Neither of you not knowing what to say to each other.

Yet as time passed on, the silence became unbearable.

Surprisingly, John was the first one to break. 

He apologized for avoiding you and that he didn’t think of you any differently after finding out about your sexuality. He explained that he was simply shocked by learning of your feelings for him and didn’t know how to react in that situation. Finally, he stated he still considered you his best friend, but understands if you don’t consider himself such because he didn’t stand up for you during the event. Also, he hadn’t attempted to contact you sooner. 

After John’s explanation, you confessed to him you bared no ill-will against him and that you share a bit of the blame because you were also avoiding him like the plague. Then, you explained to John that the letter posted that day was old and that you no longer had a crush on him. That you were upset because your feelings and sexuality were outed to the whole school.

You couldn’t decipher the meaning behind the expression on John’s face when you mentioned that you no longer harbored feelings for him, but you tried to not dwell on it. 

As the conversation continued, the two of you had made up in the end. 

Both of you, best buds once again.

After an hour and a half, Jade and Rose decided to unlock the door. Both girls concluded that an hour and a half was enough time for the two of you to figure things out.

However, the two of them were unaware of the surprise you and John had awaiting them behind the locked door. 

As soon as Jade and Rose opened the door, they became doused in water from the water guns you guys saw in some discarded boxes. 

While talking, you and John had come up with a brilliant plan to prank the girls in retaliation for their devious scheming, even though they were right, and the both of you did appreciate them for their cleverness.

The two of you came up with the brilliant idea to dose the girls in water, grabbing the water guns and filling them up in the basement bathroom. 

Of course, the girls reacted the way both of you expected from them.

To make a long story short, the four of you never got to watch movies, and a full-blown water fight commenced.

Later that evening, walking back home was both the most pleasant and uncomfortable experience. 

It was uncomfortable because it was cold, and you were as wet as a drowned rat, adding to the chill. Your clothes were practically glued to your body as if it was an extra layer of skin. You couldn’t wait to arrive home and shed every article of clothing and take a nice long warm shower. 

It was pleasant because you got to share your misery with Rose. 

You chuckle as you recall the look of annoyance Rose sent your way and her subtle threat that you should sleep with one eye open when the two of you made it home.

Not only did you sleep with one eye open that night, but Rose ended up getting back at you by switching out your regular shampoo bottle with rose gold hair dye.

Jokes on her, though, because you secretly liked the new color. 

You felt that the color complimented your face and skin complexion.

It had been a long time since the four of you spent time and had fun like that.

But back to what you were mentioning before. 

John is now working and unable to hang out with you. 

As soon as John turned 15 this past spring, he immediately announced that he wanted to get a job. 

The reason for John’s strong desire to start working was because he overheard his dad talking with your mom at the party on whether he should buy John his first car for his 16th birthday next year.

Your mom told Dad Egbert that he should hold off and wait till John starts to display a bit more maturity before buying him a car.

Immediately, John came up with the brilliant idea to get a part-time job to show his dad that he’s mature enough to own a car by next year.

And what’s better than working at his favorite local joke shop?

If anything, it’s a win-win for him.

However, the only days John can work are weekends because he’s still in high school, and child labor laws prevent him from working for more than 16-18 hours, which sucks because it means the two of you can’t hang out much on weekends now.

You wish you could contact Jade or talk to Rose how lame it is that John no longer has time for the three of you, but today's their monthly  _Girl’s Day Out_. 

A day for them where they do whatever it is girls do and talk about when boys are not around – specifically you and John. 

When the girls first mentioned this to you and John back in middle school, both of you were hurt by it. Both of you felt that the girls were keeping secrets from you guys. That they were talking behind you guys backs and discreetly saying, they didn’t like being around you two as much anymore.

However, you guys quickly understood that the girls weren't mean by excluding both of you from their activities.

The two of you realized that the girls wanted to spend time with each other and talk about specific topics that they didn’t feel like disclosing when all 4 of you were hanging out. The girls wanted their own time together, similar to the bro time you and John have together. 

Entirely understandable and reasonable.

Roxy **_totally_** wasn’t the one that explained this to you and John after overhearing the two of you complain in the living room about how unfair the girls were being.

The four of you didn’t have to do _everything_ together. 

But yeah.

John, Jade, and Rose are all unavailable today. 

You would try contacting Karkat to spend time with – the two of you have grown rather close as of late. However, he’s ignoring your texts and chat messages after the whole “Terezi incident,” which was **_entirely_** not your fault, for anyone’s information.

How were you supposed to know that Karkat was _head over heels_ for Terezi? 

Dude was so fucking hard to read at times. 

If you had known how much of a hard-on he had for her, you would have opted out of that stupid spin-the-bottle game and taken the punishment for not participating at Eridan’s party. 

Instead, Karkat was in a bad mood for the rest of the night and snapped at you when you tried asking him what was wrong. 

Naturally, Karkat’s yelling caused a scene that sparked Terezi to get involved. 

Honestly, you wish she didn’t because that’s when shit really hit the fan. 

She stated to Karkat that he didn’t own her and that she’s allowed to kiss whomever she wants. Things took a turn for the serious when she explained to him that she got tired of his mixed messages. She had been waiting for _years_ for Karkat to figure himself out and his feeling for her.

She got sick of feeling like a second option for him, fed up with Karkat attempts at flirting with her one minute, and then shutting her out the next. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Karkat’s complaints about John and _whatever-the-hell_ he has going with Gamzee. 

Never before would you have thought you would see the day Karkat Vantas was left speechless.

But even he couldn’t argue against her.

Terezi made _valid points_.

But you wish she wouldn’t have brought you into their drama. 

In the act of spitefulness, Terezi confessed that she had developed a bit of a crush on you while staring **_directly_** at Karkat. 

To say you were shocked was an understatement. 

Never before had you wished more to be somewhere else. 

Let’s say there were a few more words spoken harshly out of spite and pettiness that night. Karkat stating that Terezi was a hypocrite and can’t talk about Gamzee when she has something similar going on with  _Vriska._ The cake that brought for the occasion was left untouched. 

So right now, you are on odd terms with Karkat leaving you to where you are now.          

Alone and bored as shit.

But whatever. 

You can have fun by yourself.

You don’t need your sister or your friends for entertainment.

You don’t need anyone to hang out with to have **_fun_**. 

You’re Dave-Motherfuckin’-Lalonde.

If someone were to look up fun in the dictionary, they would see your mugshot right next to it. 

As you’re thinking this and in the process of upgrading your home in  _Animal Crossing,_  your bedroom door is kicked open. 

Startled out of your skin, you release a manly shriek and jump in surprise. Your Nintendo 3DS falling from your grasp and onto the floor. 

Before you can even react, there is a flash of yellow that moves from the doorway and makes it way to your bed.

Immediately, you feel a huge weight jump onto your bed and land on top of your legs.

As you attempt to collect your thoughts, the weight on your leg spreads itself and makes itself comfortable on your bed — the figure lying upside down to you, looking up at you from beneath its shades. A giant smirk plastered on its face.

It’s  _Dirk_.

“How’s it going, bro?” He asks cheekily. 

You can’t help but notice that his hair is in complete disarray and that his cheeks are flushed from flash stepping. You try to stop yourself from hyper fixating yourself on his face, but you can’t help it. Your eyes follow the misplaced strands sticking up from his bird stylized hair — a few strands curling around the side of his face.

He’s practically _glowing_ right up at you, brazen smile and all.

You can’t help but think he looks almost _angelic_ at this angle. 

Also, you can’t help but think he’s a total piece of shit.

He purposefully just scared the shit out of you and found amusement in your stupor.

You are so upset right now.

You don’t know whether to smack him or kiss him for his behavior. 

Well.

Considering the latter _isn’t_ even an option because the two of you aren’t _dating_ , and Dirk is  **_Now_** officially dating Jake English, you would have to go with the former automatically. 

Yes.

Dirk and Jake are dating now.

Surprising?

For some, maybe.

To others, not so much.

It’s been four months since the two had announced their newly established relationship at last year’s annual Lalonde Grand Special Christmas Party.  

They had done it right after gift exchanges

You’re positive it was Dirk’s idea to announce it to everyone afterward.

You _know_ he’s one for dramatics.

Two weeks before the party, Dirk had finally realized that enough was enough. He realized that if he wanted to get anywhere with English, he needed to stop sitting on his toned ass and let him know. 

From what Roxy told you later was that Dirk had confessed to Jake over Facetime, fearing public rejection.

But the rejection never came.

It turns out Jake had his suspicions of Dirk’s true feelings for him for some time, but he didn’t know how to approach him about it properly.

Dirk was surprised by this statement.

He was more surprised when Jake confessed to him that he _might_ have feelings for him too.

After finding this out, Dirk did not tear up at this confession.

Nor were there tears on the sides of his eyes out of pure joy.

Never once did he think that the boy he liked for so long would have an interest in him.

After the two’s declaration at the party, Roxy and Jane immediately got up from their respective seats and hugged the two. Both of the girls congratulating their friends for their new relationship and for no longer being complete and total idiots.

A few other guests – like John, his dad, Kanaya, Calliope, and your mom – smiled and congratulated the two, while others laughed in merriment.

You’re pretty sure, at some point, you heard Rose mumble under her breath, “called it.”

While you smiled and clapped along with the others, you couldn’t help but feel out of place.

You didn’t know how to feel about the new happy couple.

You know you should have been ecstatic for Dirk and Jake’s relationship.

Dirk had finally obtained the boy of his dreams, and he was happier than you have seen by far.

Yet, you didn’t.

Instead, you felt out of sorts and a bit of sorrow. 

Finally, Dirk had grown the balls to tell Jake his true feelings.

After years of pining and moaning over English, Dirk Strider had worked up the nerve to lay down all his feelings at the other man’s feet.

Dirk had spent years questioning and mulling over whether or not to confess to the man.

Regularly, he would seek your sister for advice about English. 

He would call her and ask her questions about the best way to go about pursuing him and relay to her his fears of possible rejection. That he couldn’t live without the man, and he was afraid of ruining the close friendship they had.

With how much Dirk avoided confrontation, you had grown to believe that he would never work up the courage to confess.  

You became convinced that Dirk would forever pine after English.

Or that eventually, Dirk would have moved on from him.

You believed he would realize that there were other people in the world besides Jake.

Like his roommate that admitted he used to be interested in him before finding out how head over heels he was for someone else.

Or, like Calliope’s twin brother, whom Roxy has mentioned in passing has a mega-dumb crush on Dirk but won’t admit it because he needs to work on his internalized homophobia and other issues. 

_~~Or someone like you.~~ _

Ugh. 

You hate thinking about Dirk and Jake’s relationship too much.

Every time you do, you become saddened and disheartened. Sometimes, you’re left with the sensation of a giant knot in your throat when you ponder about Dirk and Jake dating. 

You have a suspicion that these emotions are related to your realization of the newfound crush you have on him. 

Not wanting to mull over Dirk and Jake’s relationship too much - your inner organs begin to twist and turn uncomfortably the longer you think about it - you start to kick your feet to get Dirk off of you playfully. 

“What the hell, man?” You shout at him. “You scared the crap out of me!”

Instead of immediately apologizing, Dirk stares at you behind his shades.

You’re positive that he’s giving you the most innocent expression behind them as if he could do no wrong.

The dick. 

“I didn’t know you were so easily scared,  _Davey_.” Dirk coos softly.

Oh _god_. 

Before your realization, you could disregard the way Dirk said your name made your stomach do summersaults. Yet now, you can’t help but pay attention to the way your stomach flutters at the sound of his voice gently purring your name. 

The soft low tremble of his voice is borderline seductive.

It almost sends shivers down your spine.

You start to wiggle your legs erratically to shake him off. 

“Bro, get off.” You declare. 

Instead of listening to your reasonable demand, Dirk does the opposite of your request. You feel Dirk’s toned tatted arms wrap around your middle waist, as he snuggles his faces against your chest.

Oh.

Sugar.

Honey.

Ice.

**_Tea_. **

Someone pinch you, you must be dreaming.

No. Wait. Don’t.

If this is a dream, you wish for it to continue.

You hope that he mistakes the blush that is forming on your face as one of embarrassment instead of one of bashfulness.

“But I’m so comfortable,” Dirk complains. While stating this information, he tightens his arms around your middle and makes a content sound in the back of his throat.

You wonder if you might have a heart attack from how fast it’s beating right now.

Hello? 

Yes. 911?

What’s your emergency?

The emergency is you legit have a  _hunk_ of a man that looks like he belongs on a surfer’s magazine holding you hostage with his **_big_** ** _lean_** _biceps_ , and your heart is about 5 seconds away from popping out of your rib cage.  

“Brooooooo,” you whine, as you realize that your efforts of getting from beneath Dirk’s weight are useless.

You hope that Dirk does not recognize the inner emotional turmoil you’re going through at the results of his actions.

You can feel that the blush on your face has reached your ears, and your hands feel clammy.

After one last attempt of pushing Dirk off, you let out an agitated huff and cross your arms in exasperation.

Sometimes you can’t believe that Dirk is nine years your senior when he acts like this. There are moments where you think your elder sister acts more mature than him in spite of her silly personality. Despite being 24, Dirk still behaves in specific ways that are associated with teenagers.

Since Dirk has grown close to the Lalonde family to the point you all considered him a part of a family, you can’t help but take note of his behavior. 

You’ve witnessed him have deep and philosophical conversations with your sister Roxy, and in the next moment, ask Rose about her updates in her wizard fan fiction and fanboy over his favorite characters in it.

While walking past Roxy’s room, you’ve seen him help your sister with her projects and give advice on areas that she can improve on. The next time you’re passing, you’ve seen him thrown a pillow at her head, which sparks a full-on pillow war between the two of them.

He’s even given you advice about taking things more seriously in life, and in the same breath, tell you that the last one that makes it to the ice-truck has to pay for it. 

Heck, when the two of you are chilling and watching bad films for the irony, Dirk will mess with you throughout the movie like an older brother taunts their sibling. 

Often, the two of you will joke and rib each other about both of your sexualities and which actors you guys find the most attractive.

While Dirk playfully teases you about your choice of actor, you can’t help but think that none of the actors you see on screen can compare to him. 

Lost in thought, you haven’t noticed that you’ve been strangely silent for some time now, nor have you seen that Dirk is still staring up at you.

Dirk appears to take your silence as a sign of actual agitation and untangle his arms from around your waist. 

“It appears to me that I’ve made you uncomfortable, Dave.” Dirk states. 

His voice and the disappearance of his weight on top of you snaps you out of your thoughts.

As Dirk makes an effort to sit up, you resist the sudden urge to tell him that you’re okay and that he can continue laying on you. That you miss the contact and how chill your legs now feel without his body weight to keep them warm.

“In retrospect, I should have taken into consideration that you may not be in the mood for antics,” he mulls, rubbing the back of his neck is shame at his behavior. “I’m sorry if my actions have upset you. It was supposed to be in good fun.”

Despite the shades blocking Dirk’s eyes, you can still make out the chagrined facial expression he’s making. 

You hate seeing Dirk upset, knowing that Dirk can be his own worst enemy when he’s feeling low. 

“Nah, it’s cool, bro,” you quickly voice to reassure him. “I was simply lost in thought and got distracted.”

At your response, Dirk’s facial expressions switch from one of shame to one of inquiry. He raises an eyebrow in your direction in puzzlement. 

“Oh yeah?” He questions. “What has you miles away this fine Sunday afternoon?”

You bite your tongue to stop the words “your dumb triangular face” from slipping past your lips.

You casually lean back more against your headboard and bend your knees to make yourself more comfortable.

Also, so you’re not thinking about how close your feet are to brushing up against Dirk’s legs.

“About how lame my friends are.”

The side of Dirk’s lips twitches in amusement at your childish response.

“Really,” he remarks. He decides to also make himself comfortable by leaning against your wall and crossing his arms. “Why is that?”

You scoff. “Because my friends all ditched me by making their plans today. But it’s cool, though. I’m a chill and forgiving, dude.”

Dirk cannot help but chuckle at your arrogant behavior.

“Yeah?” He mocks. “Well, aren’t they lucky to have such a good friend like you to pardon them for not involving you in their plans all the time?” He replies sarcastically.

“They truly are,” you answer ironically, ignoring Dirk’s bait.

Dirk shakes his head in mirth at your response.

You feel the edges of your mouth twist up at his reaction. You can’t deny the joy that swells in you when you know that your words alone can cause such a response in him.

“Besides,” you continue. “I know how to entertain and have fun by myself.”

Dirk then decides to lean over your bed and stare at your discarded Nintendo 3DS on the floor.

“By playing Animal Crossing?” He asks slowly.

“Hey!” You shout at him, offended. Anyone that knows you are aware that you have a no-tolerance policy when it comes to the belittlement of the game.

What?

It’s a great game to play during one’s spare time and relax.

It helps with your anxiety.

“Don’t diss on AC, bro,” you vocalize. “If you say one awful world about the god sent game, I will ban you  **_permanently_ ** from my room.”

Dirk immediately lifts his hands in defense. 

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa,” Dirk declares. “I wasn’t dissing on the Animal Crossing, Dave. God. I would never do that little man. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to trash talk about it when I, myself, play the game in my spare time. Especially when I’m going through one of my rough patches.”

Next, Dirk looks at you fixedly with interest. By the way the corners of his mouth twitches, it seems that he wishes to ask you a question with how hard he’s staring at you. His face is devoid of emotion.

If his stupid ass anime shades were not in the way, you’re sure you would see fiery amber eyes piercing into your very soul.

Your breathing becomes shallow at the imagery.

Dirk then leans in close to you from his side of the bed, placing his hand near your feet. 

You can’t help but lean towards him as well. 

You’re entirely aware that you have a crush on him, but he honestly shouldn’t have this much effect on you.

Like for peace sake,  _Dave_ , show some self-restraint.

You’re swooning over every little thing Dirk does is downright embarrassing at this point.

“I was wondering…” He voices before trailing off.

You raise a quizzical eyebrow as he stops mid-sentence.

“Wondering what?” You ask.

Next, Dirk wraps his other hand around his mouth as if he’s about to tell you some big secret.

You feel your breathing become rapid as anxiousness as you become bombarded with mixed emotions due to his proximity. 

“If you would rather doing something else rather than playing your game,” he huskily stages whisper.

Dirk’s voice should not be that low-pitched and hoarse.

It should be a fucking **crime** for his voice to sound like that.

No.

_It is a crime._

Holy shit.

Were your **_lips_** this dry before?

You have an enormous urge to lick them.

“And what do you have in mind?” You whisper. 

You can hear the admiration you have for him in your voice.

Shit Dave.

How about you _fall_ into Dirk’s lap at this point? 

Dirk leans back with a smirk gracing his face, knowing that he’s captured your attention and interest.

He then reaches in the back pockets of his black studded ripped jeans, while you hold your breath in anticipation.

What he pulls out is what appears to be two tickets.

The expression on Dirk’s face is nothing short of shit-eating as he holds the tickets up to your face.

“Instead of spending your Sunday holed up in your room, how about spending the day with me at a place filled with nothing but screams, overcrowded lines, greasy foods, sweets, and structures almost as tall as the skyline buildings in the city?” 

As he holds the tickets directly in front of you, you can make out two crucial words in big, bold letters.

_An amusement park?_

Does Dirk want to go to the amusement park located 40 miles outside of town with you?

“You’re inviting me to the local amusement park?” You inquire.

“Of course, Dave,” Dirk smugly responds.

While your stomach is doing summersaults at the sheer thought of spending your whole day with Dirk, eating junk food, and going on rides, you can’t help but think there’s some secret reason for Dirk doing this.

After what happened last year, you can’t help but be suspicious sometimes when he invites you out and wants to spend time with you one-on-one outside your home.

Even though Dirk reassured you about your place in his life, you still have doubts sometimes.

You find it so hard to believe that Dirk enjoys your company.

That someone as aloof as he _sees_ you and _recognizes_ you for who **you** are.

_Especially considering he’s nine years your senior._

Just knowing this information, sends your mind into a downward spiral of fondness, bashfulness, and unsureness.

Before you could stop yourself, you can’t help but voice the question plaguing you in the back of your mind.

“Why?”

You take notice of how Dirk’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion at your reply.

“Why,” he repeats.

“Yeah, why?” You remark. “Shouldn’t you be going to the amusement park with either Jake, Roxy, or you’re other adult friends instead of some high school student?”

Dirk stares at you for a moment. 

You try your best not to squirm under his unwavering gaze. 

After a short time, Dirk shakes his head before releasing a long sigh. 

“Well, if I'm honest,” he starts. “I was goofing off with your sister, and we were planning on going, but she got called in for work at the last minute. Also, Jane is out of town for the weekend, and Jake is sick for the weekend, and I would rather give him his space for the time being while he recovers.”

When Dirk mentions the last part, you can’t help but notice how his nose scrunches up into a disgruntled expression for a quick second. 

It’s as if the notion of Jake being sick and Dirk having to give _~~his boyfriend~~_ privacy bothers him. 

But before you can ponder on this particular detail for longer, Dirk raises a single finger at you, distracting you.

“However, even if that were not the case, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to spend some time hanging out with you for the day, little man.”

Dirk then reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a third ticket. 

“You see this?” He comments.

“Yeah,” you answer.

“This is a third extra ticket I had bought meant for you. I would have gotten a fourth for Rose, but Roxy told me that she was busy with one of your mutual friends for the day.”

Next, Dirk reaches his hand and runs his fingers through your hand, playfully.

When you feel the leather-clad of his fingerless gloves graze against your scalp, you can’t help but lean into his touch.

“I understand you might still have some mixed feelings towards me regarding what happened when we went to Mel’s, but I am fond of you, Dave, and consider you as important as my “adult friends” as you quote on quote say.”

Dirk then slides a finger down from your hair to your nose, and **_goddamn monster balls_**!

You’re pretty sure it’s apparent that you’re blushing at this point.

Yep. 

You can feel your cheeks heat up at the intimate gesture.

There’s no doubt about it.

 **_Dirk Strider will be the cause of death for you_**.

Let the world mark your words.

When Dirk’s finger reaches the end of your nose, he ends up flicking it.

You squawk at the action and proceed to smack his hand away from you.

He chuckles at your discomposure.

 _What a dick._  

You can’t believe this is the person you decided to have a crush on.

He then proceeds to lean back, giving you back your personal space and crosses his arms behind his head. He tilts his body against the wall of your bed, acting as if he didn’t just cause you internal distress.

“Give yourself credit where it’s due.” He continues. “You’re pretty rad, kid. If I didn’t want to spend time with you, I wouldn’t put so much effort into getting to know you, taking you out, and giving you gifts on your birthday or during the holidays.”

And just like that, the doubts in your mind are silenced for the time being. 

Dirk knows what to say at the right time, despite being a train wreck when it comes to his own emotions. 

To hide the redness of your cheeks, you snuggle your face beneath the collar of the salmon hoodie you’re wearing.

“Psh. I already know that, bro. You don’t have to state the obvious, dude.” You claim while waving the sleeve of your hoodie at him.

You’re pretty sure you can make out the outline of Dirk rolling his eyes behind his shade at you trying to play it cool.

Whatever.

Like he’s one to talk.

You and Dirk sit for a while in silence, lounging in each other’s company. 

“So.” Dirk remarks.

“So.” You repeat. 

“Are you down to go to spend the rest of your Sunday afternoon with me?”

You glance down to your floor where your Nintendo 3Ds lays open, still playing the Animal Crossing theme song in the background.

Next, you peek back at Dirk, who’s giving you the most nonchalant expression ever. If it were not for the subtle uneven breathing of his chest, you would not be able to tell that Dirk is nervous about your possible rejection of his proposal. 

Hmm.

Spend the rest of your Sunday playing videogames and moping in your room or spending time with your crush at a place full of rides and sweets.

The answer seems to be pretty fucking obvious.

“Hell yeah, man.”

The genuine smile that breaks across Dirk's face at your answer proves you made the correct decision.

“Well, let’s go, little man,” he declares. He then leaps off your bed, standing up. “Get yourself together, and we can ditch this small suburban town for a place of excitement and adventure.”

It doesn’t take you long to get ready, considering you’re already dressed. The only thing you need to do it turn off your game – making sure to save, of course! Don’t want Resetti getting on your ass the next time you open the game – and grabbing your house keys.

When Dirk and you exit, you make sure to lock the door and shoot a quick text to both your siblings.

Roxy shoots back a text complaining how it’s unfair the two of you get to go since she got called into work, and Rose replies to bring her back a bag of kettle corn.

Dirk doesn’t bring his motorcycle for the two of you to ride on for the day.

Instead, he brings his White Honda Ridgeline pickup truck that he bought off a car dealer earlier in the year. From the last time you saw the truck, it’s obvious Dirk has made some slight modifications to it. He’s customized the wheels, attached step bars, included fog lights, and sized up his tires.

When Dirk first purchased the vehicle, you couldn’t help but ask if he could be any more Southern by purchasing a monster of a vehicle.

Your comment earned you a playful smack upside the head and Dirk making a quip about your Southern accent.

You then commented on how you all have a Southern accent because you legit live in the Southern parts of the United States for Christ's sake. 

It’s about a good hour drive before the two of you reach the theme park. During the time you and Dirk have various conversations ranging from funny videos you’ve recently seen to discussions about hit series, the two of you enjoy watching. Also, the two of you fight over control of the radio, Dirk switching it to heavy metal, and you changing to techno. Eventually, the two of you end up playing with the radio and turning it to every station imaginable.

When both of you finally arrive, it takes Dirk 10 minutes to find parking since the lot is full, and it’s a weekend. There are many people here with their families and friends wanting to spend a day filled with laughter and fun rather than sitting on the couch at home watching television.

Luckily, the parking spot is near the entrance because Dirk spotted a family of five heading towards their car while randomly driving around.

While it may have taken a while to find parking, it doesn’t take long to get inside because the two of you have your tickets ahead of time. You can feel the glares of disgruntled adults and older teens waiting in the park lines follow you as a worker points the two of you to the park entry gates, and states for both you guys to hand it to the ticket handler and you’ll enter the park.

When Dirk and you pass through the metal detectors and ticket entry, you’re greeted to the sight of tall wooden and metal machinery in different shapes and sizes. The sound of laughter and loud music fills your ears, while the smell of grease and sugar fills your nostrils. Little children were playing and running ahead of their guardians past you by, their high pitch shrieks deafening amongst all the noise around you. Small groups of young adults pass by laughing and giggling to themselves as if sharing an inside joke amongst themselves. 

It’s all _very_ overwhelming.

You feel the touch of Dirk’s hand clasp your shoulder, startling you.

When you turn your head to look up him, you see Dirk’s fair clean-shaved face smiling down at you.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, you wonder, were you a good person in your past life to be blessed with such a breathtaking image.

“Well, Dave,” Dirk begins. “What would you like to do first? Would you rather start our trip gorging yourself on fried food or going on nauseous but exhilarating rides?”

As you turn your head away from him, you stare out into the overcrowded park as you deliberate on the options given to you.

“Let’s go on rides,” you quickly state. “While munching on some greasy food sounds appealing now, I know that if we go on rides later, someone’s getting off with sick all over them.”

Dirk nods his head in concurrence. 

“Agreed.” He replies. 

Next, he shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“Then where to first, Mon Capitaine?” Dirk asks. He tries for a French accent while posing the question, but he comes off as Australian instead.

Dork.

You pretend to contemplate Dirk’s question by tapping your right index finger and rubbing your thumb your chin. A profound expression on your face. 

“Let’s find whichever rides have the shortest lines,” you answer. “There are too many people at the moment, and I don’t want to stand in ridiculously long rides most of the day. As the afternoon goes on, more people will have left, and we can go on the rides we weren’t able to earlier.”

Dirk can’t help but snort at your response.

“Aren’t you lazier than a sloth?” He taunts. “What’s the matter, Dave? Weak knees?”

“You got that damn right.” You proclaim. “I have baby-knees, man. I can’t stand for long, or I will crumble to the floor in a mess of limbs. Got to carry me around this whole park if you want to get anywhere.”

Dirk shakes his head at you in humor and mumbles under his breath how ridiculous you are.

You almost make an ill jab at him, but you stop when Dirk decides to squat in front of you. 

You freeze at the spot.

“Umm, bro?” You hesitate. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Dirk says casually, his head turned back at you. You can hear the slight teasing in his voice. “I’m offering the weak-kneed prince a piggy-back ride. I can’t have my prince falling in public on me and causing a scene. Be a goddamn embarrassment on the royal name.”

_Holy shit._

You were not expecting Dirk to take your joke seriously.

But then again, it’s Dirk.

So you shouldn’t be too surprised.

Yet still.

The thought of riding on Dirk’s back, let alone Dirk carrying you throughout the theme park, sets your nerves on fire.

You feel your hands shake in nervousness, and the butterflies in your stomach flutter erratically.

“Dude. You know that I was joking, right-t?” You stutter out.

Shit, Dave.

Control yourself.

Can’t let Dirk figure out you have a crush on him, now can you?

Dirk tilts his head at you. “Of course, I know.” He voices. “But who says I’m joking?”

Oh.

_Oh, crud._

Okay.

You feel a line of sweat glide down the side of your temple in apprehension. 

The thought of hanging off the person you fancy’s back makes your knees want to buckle underneath you.

Yes.

You know the irony of it, considering your former words.

There’s a tiny voice in the back of your mind that tells you to reject his offer, but before you can process it, your arms are automatically wrapping around his neck, and you press your entire weight against his back.

You feel firm and robust arms come underneath your knees and hoist you up into the air.

_Please, God, don’t let this be a mistake._

You inwardly swoon as you feel the firm muscles beneath Dirk’s white t-shirt. With every movement Dirk makes as he tries to adjust your added weight on him, you feel the slightest twitch his muscles make beneath you and see his muscles practically ripple underneath his thin shirt. 

You are experiencing every young girl’s teenage dreams.

You hope that Dirk doesn’t feel how fast your heart is beating as you're up against him.

“You’re surprisingly light, Dave.” Dirk comments.

You notice few individuals stare at the sight of you two, but you ignore them, preferring to give all your attention to the man holding you.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You inquire. 

What was Dirk trying to say?

That you appeared to weigh less than what your appearance suggests?

“Nothing.” He quickly claims. “Just an observation.”

Dirk then ends up jostling you on his back, resulting in you squeezing him tighter.

“Anyways, are you ready?”

You feel that if you were to open your mouth, it would betray you, but Dirk is unable to see, so you have to talk.

You mumble out a small “yeah” under your breath that you hope that Dirk mistakes for self-consciousness.

When he doesn’t reply and instead starts to walk, you guess he took your softly spoken response as a sign of sheepishness.

**_Thank god._ **

The two of you explore the park for a while. The place is chock-full of people and lines that appear to go on forever. From the rollercoaster to the teacups, every track is full to the point that you can’t make out where the beginning of the line starts and where it ends.

As you ride on Dirk’s back, you fight the urge to lift a hand and twirl your fingers through a stray piece of misplaced hair. It’s golden strand eye-catching in the blinding light.

To prevent yourself from reaching out, you lay your head against his shoulder, embracing the comfort you find in having your arms wrapped around him. 

Never before had you felt anxious and carefree at the same time.

You wish this moment could last forever.

However, all good things must come to an end.

At some point, you decide to tell Dirk that he can let you down after you catch yourself softly, inhaling the back of Dirk’s shirt. 

It smelled of citrus and spice.

How fitting.

He doesn’t raise a question as to why you would no longer want a piggy-back ride and slowly lowers himself so you can gently be set back onto the ground.

You have to force yourself to untangle your limbs from around him, reminding yourself about personal boundaries and that you don’t want Dirk suspecting anything.

When your feet touch the ground, Dirk immediately stands up, rolling his shoulders back. There’s a distinct pop sound from him when he does this action.

He’s more than likely grown tired from carrying you the last 20 minutes but kept it to himself.

Damn.

Could he at least try and not be impressive for once?

The two of you continue your walk, chatty idly through the park until you come to cross a ride with a reasonable wait line.

Of course, the first ride the two of you come across with a short line is no other than drop zone.

There are only eight people in total in line, with a ride meant to carry ten at a time.

Dirk points to the ride.

“There’s a line with a decent line,” he claims. “Do you want to go on, Dave?”

As you stare up at the 500 feet tall drop tower, your good feelings from earlier slowly fade away.

Fuck.

You’re scared of heights.

Well.

You’re not scared of heights. 

You can go on rollercoasters, Ferris wheels, and Tilt-A-Whirl's fine and dandy. But there’s something about going high up in the air and then free-falling that makes your flight or fight response kick-in.

The logical and rational part of your brain screaming at you about the force of gravity and that human-made machinery can have errors at any given time.

Your immediate response is telling Dirk “hell no,” but when you take a peek at Dirk’s face, you can read signs of enthusiasm and interest on it.

Dammit.

This particular ride must be one of Dirk’s favorite.

Of course, it would be.

Well, isn’t this a bunch of gobshites.

The sensible part of your brain informs you that this new piece of information doesn’t matter and that Dirk understands your unwillingness to go on.

Yet, the other part of your brain urges you to go on the ride to please your crush. It voices how Dirk would be delighted to go on the contraption, and the smile he would send your way at your agreeance would be to die for. Also, it’s an opportunity to display your bravery to him. You don’t want him to think your wimp, do you?

The latter voice inside your head wins in the end.

“Sure,” you say through almost clenched teeth.

Dirk looks down at you, grinning, the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

You gulp as your brain yells that ‘yes, the smile that you receive is gorgeous, but this is a mistake.’

Your feet feel as if they’re on auto-pilot as you walk to the line side by side with Dirk.

While standing in line, you’re breathing becomes heavy, and your hand nervously twitches at your side.

Dirk notices the change in your behavior and turns to you with a perplexed look.

“Nervous pre-ride jitters, Dave?” He questions.

_Oh, wouldn’t he like to know?_

“Yeah, a bit.” You confess. “But I’m good, bro. This happens to me every time before I get on a ride.”

Dirk stares at you with an expression that communicates he doesn’t believe you.

“Dave,” he verbalizes. “We don’t have to go on if you don’t want to.”

The sound part of your brain cries in relief at Dirk’s words, but the simple-minded part harshly whispers at you that you’re making Dirk feel guilty and losing credibility points.

“Nah, I’m good.” You lie. 

You lift your hand and make a gesture as if you’re shooing off a fly.  

“Seriously, man. Don’t stress about me too much. I’m fine.

“Well, if you’re positive,” Dirk mutters.

“Yeah, I am.”

The two of you guys attention are drawn away from each other as you hear the screams of the riders that went on before you as they fall before the ride jerks 10 feet above the platform, before slowly coming down the rest of the way.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

The ride attendant releases the bars protecting the passengers and assists a few of them to the exit.

Next, the attendant makes their way back over to where the both of you and other potential riders are waiting.

They open the gate and announces to all of you to come in and take a seat. 

Welp.

You’re screwed.

You and Dirk make your way over to the platform and take the first available two seats you find that’s not occupied.

You pull down the shoulder bar and buckle yourself in the seat.

Never before have had you hated yourself more.

“This will be thrilling,” Dirk comments excitedly.

Shut up, Dirk.

It's all your fault.

“Yeah,” you fake cheer. “This will be fantastic.”

The amusement park worker goes around, securing all passenger's seats before going back to the controls and starting up the ride.

You nearly yelp as the ride starts to ascend slowly.

You shut your eyes in fear.

You should have been honest with Dirk and told him no.

The way your stomach is churning at the moment makes you think you’re about to vomit, and you haven’t been on the ride for that long!

“I love the view this ride offers when you’re on it,” You hear Dirk’s voice announce. “It’s stunning.”

Ha.

That’s funny.

No view could be that gorgeous for the amount of anxiousness you’re feeling right now.

Curious, you open one eye in perplexion at Dirk’s statement.

Both eyes open wide in interest.

The view as your climbing up is _alluring_. 

It’s almost as if you’re on a hill on the other side of the city, looking down.

You can see everything - the amusement park, the parking lot, outer buildings and businesses, etc.

The other park-goers look like ants from how high you’re up.

It’s beautiful.

You wish that you were able to take a picture of this view with the professional camera you have at home.

_Amazing._

That’s the last thought that crosses your mind as the ride clicks into place before you’re all dropped from an unimaginable height. 

The scream you let out was both shrill and ear-piercing.

You’re positive a tear came out.

When the ride comes to a halt, you’re both laughing and sobbing.

It seems that Dirk was correct in his assessment before the ride.

It was thrilling.

“You okay there, little man?” Dirk asks.

You feel Dirk place his hand on your knee in a supportive manner as he leans over his bars to take a look at you.

The pained expression on his face makes you feel giddy.

_~~You want to kiss it away with a peck on the cheek.~~ _

You can’t help but laugh.

“Never been better,” You snicker.

After you guys get off the ride, the two of you explore the rest of the park and have fun on other attractions. You guys go on mini rollercoasters, the Ferris wheel, the zipper, spiny rides, bumper cars – you destroyed Dirk at bumper cars – and the orbiter. 

When the two of you exit off the last ride, Dirk makes the announcement the two of you should grab a bite to eat and rest a bit. You order yourself a chilidog and fries, while Dirk orders himself chicken tenders. 

The two of you munch on the food while you discuss which rides were your favorite. Time passes, and you notice that the large crowd of people that were there earlier has dwindled. There are now selective groups of people left as the afternoon changed to evening, and the sun has begun to set.

Dirk notices the change in atmosphere and comments that the two of you should be heading back soon.

You nod your head in agreeance as you finish chewing your last fry.

The two of you continue your light-hearted conversation, after throwing away your trash.

As your walking with Dirk, you can’t stop yourself from allowing your hand to brush against his every few minutes occasionally. You’re running on positive vibes. 

Earlier today, you were bored out of your mind and saddened that no one was available to spend time with you for the day. Then, Dirk popped out of nowhere and invited you out. He took you to the local theme park, gave you a piggy-back ride, allowed you to choose the attractions you went on and fed you.

Dirk is your prince charming in disguise.

For the times you’re alone, he magically shows up and takes you on time of your life.

You can’t help but beam as you recall the day you spent together with him.

_It’s almost like you’re both on a date!_

Wait.

No.

**Stop.**

You **cannot** go down that rabbit-hole.

Dirk is…

Dirk is a friend.

A  _close_ friend.

A mutual friend of your elder sister.

He’s older than you.

He’s dating Jake English.

**_He isn’t your boyfriend._ **

You pout.

You know your crush on Dirk is _a bit_ irrational, but you can’t help yourself. 

Dirk makes you _feel_ **good**.

Not only about yourself, but life in general.

_Is it terrible for you to be a little love-struck over him?_

While you’re mulling over your inner turmoil about Dirk, the two of you pass by a particular booth littered with prizes and stuffed animals. 

A particular prize catches your eye.

It’s a 10 inch stuffed orange crow plush that has a white fuzzy mane around its neck.

It stands out amongst the other prizes.

You didn’t notice you stopped walking, your eyes glued to where the prize hanged.

You want it.

The stuffed animal screams irony and coolness.

It would be the perfect addition to your room.

You’re brought back to reality by Dirk’s voice behind you.

“Do you want that orange plush, Dave?”

“Wha-?” You answer you’re head whipping back to stare at him instead.

“That orange crow,” Dirk emphasizes. “Do you want  **_it_ **?”

You’re speechless.

Is Dirk implying what you think he is?

“Y-yes.” You mutter.

Dirk nods his head.

“Alright, let’s when you a prize.”

The two of you make your way to the theme park booth.

It’s a balloon popping one.

From inspection, this particular one, the person must shoot the balloons with a fake toy gun filled with pellets. You read the sign above that states to receive the big prizes; one must pop all 12 balloons with the 12 pellets provided. 

A complete scam.

There’s no way Dirk will hit every single target.

But you want that plush crow _so_ bad.

“Hey,” Dirk says to the worker behind the counter. “How much does it cost to play?”

The worker, a male with blue highlights in his hair, takes a quick sweep of Dirk with eyes.

“$25.00,” he replies flatly.

Dirk scrummages through his pockets for his wallet, before pulling out a twenty and slapping it down on the table.

The worker rolls his eyes while grabbing Dirk’s money. 

Next, he reaches inside of a basket, counts the pellets in his head, and puts it inside the toy gun.

He places the fake makeshift gun in Dirk’s hand.

“Knock yourself out, dude.”

When the booth attendant walked away to the side, Dirk ready himself into position.

He placed the faux firearm into his left hand, wrapping his middle, ring, and pinky fingers around the grip of the pistol. He then positioned the thumb of his right hand over the thumb of his other hand, his middle finger resting just below the trigger.

Dirk gazes at you from the corner of his eyes with a smirk.

“Watch this, Dave.” He states.

Dirk pulled the trigger

_Pop!_

The sound of the balloon popping catches not only you but the attendant’s attention.

Dirk had popped the first balloon.

The smirk on his face widens.

_Pop!_

_Pop!_

**_Pop!_ **

Dirk is popping the balloons with ease and grace, not breaking a sweat.

Your mouth is gaped open.

You did not know _this_ about Dirk.

Does Dirk practice at a gun range in his spare-time?

Dirk had told you that he wasn’t a fan of firearms, preferring knives and swords instead, but he was knocking out each balloon one after the other.

Maybe he’s merely skilled at shooting games?

You remember Roxy whining about being pit against Dirk when they went out to play laser tag.

That’s most likely it.

The last balloon pops, and Dirk places the toy gun back onto the counter.

“I want the stuffed orange crow,” he asks calmly.

The booth attendance is staring at Dirk in awe.

He snaps out his stupor at Dirk’s command and rushes to grab the crow for him.

The worker places the prize in Dirk’s arms with a fast “congratulations, man.”

Dirk nods his head in appreciation at the guy.

He then gives his attention to you, placing the stuffed animal in your arms.

“Here you go, Dave.”

You don’t know what to say.

You’re awestruck.

You can’t believe Dirk one a prize for you.

**_For you._ **

“T-thanks dude,” you stutter. You clutch the over-stuffed prize close to your chest.

“It’s no problem, little man.” He says. “I could tell you wanted it by how mesmerized you were with it.”

You’re no longer mesmerized with the plush in your arms.

Your attentiveness now on the man in front of you.

“Well, that’s all for today, Dave.” Dirk remarks. “It’s gotten pretty dark now, and I don’t want Roxy chewing me out for bringing you back too late. Come on. Let’s ditch this joint”

Dirk then casually walks ahead of you, with you trailing behind him.

You’re completely head over heels for him.

Dirk is astounding.

He legit took the time to win a prize for you because he saw how much you wanted it, no questions asked.

You squeeze the orange crow tighter to your chest, as your chest becomes all warm and fuzzy inside.

Yeah.

_There’s nothing wrong with you feeling the way you do about him when he does this for you._

**_How could anyone fault you for it?_ **

Before the both of you exit the theme park, you mention to Dirk you need to buy Roxy her cotton candy and Rose her kettle corn before you guys leave.

After you purchased them, you guys make your way out and head to the truck.

Due to there being traffic, it’s a long drive heading home.  

A twenty-minute delay.

It’s a comfortable silence between the two of you, the low hum of the radio playing in the background.

You lean your head against the window as you replay everything that happened today.

You’ll cherish this day and remember it for a long time.  

As you shut your eyes, the edges of your mouth twist up into a small smile.

Eventually, you end up falling asleep.

When you wake up, you’re back inside your room, lying on top of your bed.

At first, you’re confused as to how you got into your room. 

You don't recall waking up and heading inside the house.

You look at your nightstand, and you realize your shades are also no longer on your face as you see that your shades were placed delicately on it.

Next, you take a look at the clock on your nightstand. 

It reads 1:30 AM.

God, you knocked out.

As you look around your room, you spot the orange plush crow located on top of your desk and a small note placed beside it.

Curiosity peaked, you lift yourself off your bed and head over to your desk. 

It takes a minute for your eyes to adjust to the darkness before you can read the note.

What the note says takes your breath away. 

_‘Can’t believe you knocked out like that on me, little man._

_Subjecting me to listen to your light snores the whole ride back._

_And you complain when I call you princess, even though you sleep like one._

_I had to carry your sorry butt all the way upstairs, btw._

_You owe me, bro._

_Luckily, Rose was here, and she held the door open for me._

_I had a fun day with you._

_Next time, we should go to the arcade together._

_Talk to you later, Dave. – Di-Stri’_

You place the note over your heart.

Dirk carried you in.

He carried you up the stairs and laid you down in your bed?

This information is too much.

As you lay back on your bed, your left hand clutching the note as if it’s a lifeline, you stare at the ceiling, contemplating.

You’re sure that what you feel towards Dirk is more than just a fancy now.

Absolutely.

You no longer just have a crush on Dirk.

**You’re in love with him.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave is completely smitten. So sad.
> 
> There are three chapters left, and things will start to pick up after this one. 
> 
> Again, comments, kudos, and feedback are appreciated. You guys don't understand how much I love reading your response and how it pushes me to continue with this story.


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